Need a little help, please(poss trigger)
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Need a little help, please(poss trigger)
| Sun, 01-02-2005 - 11:58am |
Hi, some of you already know me, but my name is Sheree. I'm 21 years old and suffer from Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Restless legs, intersticial cystitis, recurrent kidney stones, and bladder infections. Everything started 2 years ago when I was in a car accident. Since then, I have pretty much been through every "major life event" that therapists like to attribute stress to:
1. Got married
2. lost job (quit, not fired, cause I could no longer work)
3. got kicked out of apartment (cause we couldn't pay rent)
4. got pregnant
5. husband joined air force
6. husband discharged from air force b/c of illness
7. moved in/out with his parents, my parents, and grandparents
8. husband changed jobs another 2 times
9. got a place again
10. had baby 5 weeks early
11. 2 weeks in NICU with sick baby
12. got kidney stones 3 times
13. went to hospital about 50 times (no, really, that's the actual number!) for pain and illness.
14. moved into ANOTHER apartment, this time with brother-in-law in tow
And all this while being in pain, all day, every day. Sometimes it's better, but it's always there, to some degree. I have been to 2 neurologists, 3 psychiatrists, 3 rheumatologists, and 2 urologists to try to find someone who can help me. I don't want to be on pills the rest of my life, I just think I deserve to not be in pain. A rheumatologist actually tried to send me to a pain management doctor, but they only treat "real" diseases, I guess. I have thought many times about suicide, or thought that I wish I DID have cancer or some other "real" illness, so that I could say, "HA! So there! I REALLY AM IN PAIN!" to all the doctors who've just written me off as drug-seeking, or malingering, or whatever. I'm just so tired all the time and I just wish one doctor would give me the chance to prove that I want to get better and be healthy like I used to be. I don't want to feel like crap every morning and rely on medications to ease this horrible pain. I just want to go to sleep sometimes and just not wake up. I'm also desperately lonely in my pain. It's like I'm a cat stuck in a tree, that can't get down, but no one can be with me either. My husband tries so hard to understand but I usually just don't even tell him about how bad it hurts because i think it makes him feel guilty. my grandmother helps as much as she can but she's really busy cause she's a pastor's wife. i need someone to help me, please. i need a doctor who understands that the pain is causing the depression, not the other way around, and that i don't want to get high, i want to get functional. i want to give my baby a bath without crying because of the pain. i want to be a healthy mommy and wife and be around long enough to watch my son grow up. i'm tired of spending roughly half of my time in the E.R., getting laughed at by nurses because I "don't look like I'm in pain". I want to be free of this. If anyone knows of any kind, compassionate, understanding doctors, please let me know. I live in East Texas. Please help me.
1. Got married
2. lost job (quit, not fired, cause I could no longer work)
3. got kicked out of apartment (cause we couldn't pay rent)
4. got pregnant
5. husband joined air force
6. husband discharged from air force b/c of illness
7. moved in/out with his parents, my parents, and grandparents
8. husband changed jobs another 2 times
9. got a place again
10. had baby 5 weeks early
11. 2 weeks in NICU with sick baby
12. got kidney stones 3 times
13. went to hospital about 50 times (no, really, that's the actual number!) for pain and illness.
14. moved into ANOTHER apartment, this time with brother-in-law in tow
And all this while being in pain, all day, every day. Sometimes it's better, but it's always there, to some degree. I have been to 2 neurologists, 3 psychiatrists, 3 rheumatologists, and 2 urologists to try to find someone who can help me. I don't want to be on pills the rest of my life, I just think I deserve to not be in pain. A rheumatologist actually tried to send me to a pain management doctor, but they only treat "real" diseases, I guess. I have thought many times about suicide, or thought that I wish I DID have cancer or some other "real" illness, so that I could say, "HA! So there! I REALLY AM IN PAIN!" to all the doctors who've just written me off as drug-seeking, or malingering, or whatever. I'm just so tired all the time and I just wish one doctor would give me the chance to prove that I want to get better and be healthy like I used to be. I don't want to feel like crap every morning and rely on medications to ease this horrible pain. I just want to go to sleep sometimes and just not wake up. I'm also desperately lonely in my pain. It's like I'm a cat stuck in a tree, that can't get down, but no one can be with me either. My husband tries so hard to understand but I usually just don't even tell him about how bad it hurts because i think it makes him feel guilty. my grandmother helps as much as she can but she's really busy cause she's a pastor's wife. i need someone to help me, please. i need a doctor who understands that the pain is causing the depression, not the other way around, and that i don't want to get high, i want to get functional. i want to give my baby a bath without crying because of the pain. i want to be a healthy mommy and wife and be around long enough to watch my son grow up. i'm tired of spending roughly half of my time in the E.R., getting laughed at by nurses because I "don't look like I'm in pain". I want to be free of this. If anyone knows of any kind, compassionate, understanding doctors, please let me know. I live in East Texas. Please help me.

Hi Sheree and welcome to the board! You sure do have a lot that has happened to you in the past few years and I am glad you have not yet given up and also glad you have found us! We are a supportive bunch and although we may not have the solutions we do care!