Can't Live This Way
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Can't Live This Way
| Sun, 01-02-2005 - 11:44pm |
I just can't live being depressed anymore. It is just one aspect of my life that has me so sad. I'm divorced and have 2 little girls. The problem is they prefer to be with him-the man who was abusive to me for years. They don't want to live with me, and they haven't adjusted going back and forth between houses for the 3 years we have been separated. My 7 year old cries literally for hours wanting to go back to his house after she comes home. She sees him almost every weekend and most holidays. Nothing i do for her is ever good enough. She always prefers him. Seeing her cry and never being able to adjust to the split is worse than the abuse I endured being with him. Being away from the kids most weekends and holidays is killing me. I feel so beat down by him, and now the kids not wanting to live with me. The kids living with him is really not an option since he works alot and the kids would basically be raised by stepmom if they did. I was so physically sick from the stress over this I have actually been thinking of ways to kill myself away get away from the pain in my life. But I know it would be selfish of me and there are good things in my life, it is just this one aspect of my life that is killing me. I've tried everything i can think of over the past few years to make this better. Counseling, letting her see him more, making it fun at my house, but nothing gets better.

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Thanks for filling me in a bit more on things....