Bad on the Job
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Bad on the Job
| Fri, 01-21-2005 - 5:28pm |
I have been a teacher for almost 16 years. The last few years I have been off because of stress due to a horrific marriage. I am back full-time for the first time in three years and it seems I suddenly cannot do anything right. Both prinicipals I work for (in 2 schools)are saying bad things about me to the lady that does the hiring for the board. They don't say anything to me - or at least very little - and tell her all kinds of things. I told one principal in an email that I didn't think she liked me and other things and the principal turned around and showed her my emails. I have always had low self esteem and the one thing I knew I was good at was teaching and now it seems I'm bad at that too. I feel like I have been hit by a truck. I am in debt, I have no social life, no friends, depression and now this. I feel sick.

Hey there...
Travi
I don't want to look for another job. I'm 46 and my own board doesn't want me even though I've always got good evaluations in the past. I would just be too nervous starting all over again. I am in so much debt that it literally makes me sick to my stomach. I'm lonely - I just don't even feel God is on my side. The only person who I trust 100% and love completely is my 84 year old mother. I will not survive her passing. She means the world to me. Without her, I would have nobody and i would be a nobody. Although I am extremely close, I don't want to go out and make friends with anyone. I'm just too tired.
Travi
I can understand your feelings to a point because I've been there myself. Me (or anyone) telling you that you ARE worthwhile and ARE "somebody" in the end won't matter if YOU don't come to believe it. And my fear is that you have given up and won't pursue your chance at happiness! Please don't let that happen!! You are 46 ... I am 43. People our age have and will continue to accomplish great things. At the very least, they--and WE have many good years ahead of us. Yes, depression can destroy that---and in fact has for some people that either haven't sought treatment or haven't responded well to it. But there is no reason that you can't be one of the ones that find your way out of the darkness with the right help and support. I hope you will look for it! Hugs, Lori
Travi