What To Do ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
What To Do ?
3
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 7:58pm
Hello Everyone---I haven't posted in awhile, been having my okay and not so okay days, in other words the 'usual.' Just very recently I was given some reports that disclosed some very upsetting things for me. I can't go into details here and I know that makes it difficult for me to explain and for you to try to understand. A lot of my 'stuff' is about things I can't openly talk about here. The thing is I am fighting not thinking about what I have read, if I let myself think about it too much I feel like I'm going to lose it. I did find out that some of what I thought people didn't know do know, but not from me. I also found out someone who is very dear to me is suffering more than I knew. My question for all this unclear information is whether I should or could tell my T about it. I don't think I can tell her everything as it will just give her more 'ammunition' and I'm already worried enough regarding her. I just am now carrying a suffocating amount of guilt with what I have learned and it is like a crushing weight ontop of the worries and problems I already try to cope with. I just feel I so need to talk about some of this to try to alleviate some of the awful anxiety and upset I am feeling. I just worry it may all back-fire in my face if I say some of it to my T. It is frustrating I can't go into detail here,,,but I don't want to do that in such an open forum. I don't even know if your opinion or answer can generate any input that I can incorporate into my thoughts as I am being so evasive here. I guess I just needed to come to what has so far been a safe place for me to try to steer myself from SI'ing and to hope that maybe someone will say something to me that may help me with this new (and as if I need a new one) problem I have now. Thanks so much for your time. ------ Abby
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 02-04-2005 - 9:07pm

Hi Abby,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sun, 02-06-2005 - 7:18pm
Hello Lori, and thank you for your response to my post, I know it was not a very clear one and I thought afterwards that it was probably pretty dumb having even written it. Even so I did read what you wrote and some of what you said has given me some courage to call my T and discuss this with her. I think I will just be careful what I disclose to her, but seeing how other 'people with power' already know about this I am thinking that telling her can't really change anything. I am going to say I need to tell her what I read for 'me' because I really really need someone to discuss these things with. I know she will think things are worse here with what I tell her though, so that is something that is making me debate about what to say to her. I find it so very difficult when I know I need to talk to her about things and yet I am afraid to tell her things, thus defeating the entire purpose of being in therapy. Lori,,,seeing how you have some knowledge in this sort of thing,,,well,,,she couldn't act on things that happened in the past can she ? I mean if 'people with power' are already aware of it,,,she can't pull stuff up to the present surface and rekindle it,,,can she ?
Again thank you so much for being here Lori,,,,,,Abby
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sun, 02-06-2005 - 10:11pm

I'm happy to hear you decided to call your T. What a brave thing to do!!

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