hospital & meds & i'm not feeling better
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hospital & meds & i'm not feeling better
| Mon, 03-21-2005 - 3:58pm |
the only thing i'm not doing this time that's different is i am not drinking & abusing sedatives.
everyone has forgotten me.
no one cares how i am.
they never even knew i was gone.
wow that hurts.
i was right all along.
i'm thinking it's time to ask for e.c.t.
i probably would have already had it if not for the the problems that came up.
i got the deadly(so they say..haha)rash from the meds & had to go cold turkey on all then get off the steroids for the rash & stabilized on new meds.
i had been diagnosed w/ a weird form of epilepsy & had to be neurologically cleared(turns out the epilepsy is no longer detected.
hospitalizations only last so long & to tell the truth w/ my wicked wicked mother reluctantly tending to my family,& the not so warm & fuzzy environment...after 3 long weeks i was in no hurry to prolong my stay.
so...i was thinking of doing it outpatient.
i just don't want to remember anymore.
i asked my h & he said he could take off time if i do it.
then i read some true horror stories.
but i wondewr if that's not better than this.
anyone have any thoughts or experience?
please?
everyone has forgotten me.
no one cares how i am.
they never even knew i was gone.
wow that hurts.
i was right all along.
i'm thinking it's time to ask for e.c.t.
i probably would have already had it if not for the the problems that came up.
i got the deadly(so they say..haha)rash from the meds & had to go cold turkey on all then get off the steroids for the rash & stabilized on new meds.
i had been diagnosed w/ a weird form of epilepsy & had to be neurologically cleared(turns out the epilepsy is no longer detected.
hospitalizations only last so long & to tell the truth w/ my wicked wicked mother reluctantly tending to my family,& the not so warm & fuzzy environment...after 3 long weeks i was in no hurry to prolong my stay.
so...i was thinking of doing it outpatient.
i just don't want to remember anymore.
i asked my h & he said he could take off time if i do it.
then i read some true horror stories.
but i wondewr if that's not better than this.
anyone have any thoughts or experience?
please?

You know me, I always have thoughts--lol!! Seriously though, as far as ECT goes, it would be in your best interests to ask your doctors/therapists if they recommend it in your situation since a) they are the ones professionally qualified to advise in such matters and b.) they know you better than we do!
my last one is gone.
oh well...no specific childhood trauma...which is why i always felt so guilty about being so ill.
alot of painful memories tho..
& also i should mention that the events & my behavior leading up to my hospitalization is one huge & long humiliation.one i cannot fix...just something i have to live with & pretend never happened.
amnesia has always been welcome.i told someone to remind me of that in the unlikely event it ever happens.