To sleep or not to sleep

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
To sleep or not to sleep
1
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 2:05am

I have been struggling with myself for the last two weeks trying to sleep every night even though I haven't wanted to as I've been hypomanic. I know that if I don't sleep I will likely cross over into crazy mania.

The other day I took two sleeping pills to slow down my mind and go to sleep. I normally take one, but I knew I'd need the extra help.

The next day I was such a zombie. I didn't know this would happen. I thought, "this can't be right, if I'm manic then I shouldn't be so slow and lethargic".

I guess I've been doubting that a lot though - that my moods have not been following a pattern and now I am convinced that I'm not really bipolar, or any of my dx's for that matter and I just need to wake up and move on. I guess we'll have to see in a week when I see the pdoc at school again. We still have to finish our initial interview and she was going to talk to my doc and get my records from the mental health clinic. She has said she sees the borderliner personality traits and maybe the bipolar so far but doesn't know about the anxiety and OCD. I couldn't believe that I was so anxious at that time I was shaking.

But then again I doubt this and think well was a shaking because I was anxious or restless or manic and I don't know.

I'm starting to think that I'm just quirky and don't really fit into any one dx and all of this stuff is just who I am and my natural personality traits and that I can just deal with it if I try hard enough.

Oh the joys.

I wish I could make sense of it all.

I wonder what conclusions she will come to about my dx next week.

I need to get through this week first :(

Amanda

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 11:51am
Hope you got at least SOME sleep!! Try not to worry so much about the diagnostic labels. Just be as honest as you can about reporting symptoms and feelings and let the pros figure it all out--lol! Hugs, Lori
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