another so called friend...
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another so called friend...
| Wed, 03-23-2005 - 8:27am |
ok...to be fair,he isn't at all toxic,but i will say he is intolerant.he's a post 12 stepper & i've known him all my life.he has a former addict's attitude of feeling that anything selfish or self indulgent is just plain wrong.
he has banished me from his life.he claims that my life has been the same self destructive & indulgent self grandiose circle as long as he has known me.
he says my attempts at healing thru meds,para-psychologists,reiki,therapy etc. are just methods to part me from my money.my mother's bad treatment of me is my fault.not hers.
i agree with being responsible for my own actions but i have experimented with no meds & had the experience of the wrong meds & my own methods to heal myself begin with a feeling of uphoria but end up with me doing such destructive acts to myself & others & would argue to say they are out of my control only because i truly feel at the time that they are the right things to do.
but....he's hAd enough of me.
all i did was agree with HIM
& he still dismissed me.
so i inquired....was something else bothering him?something in his own life?
i got no answer.
wow...that hurts.
he has banished me from his life.he claims that my life has been the same self destructive & indulgent self grandiose circle as long as he has known me.
he says my attempts at healing thru meds,para-psychologists,reiki,therapy etc. are just methods to part me from my money.my mother's bad treatment of me is my fault.not hers.
i agree with being responsible for my own actions but i have experimented with no meds & had the experience of the wrong meds & my own methods to heal myself begin with a feeling of uphoria but end up with me doing such destructive acts to myself & others & would argue to say they are out of my control only because i truly feel at the time that they are the right things to do.
but....he's hAd enough of me.
all i did was agree with HIM
& he still dismissed me.
so i inquired....was something else bothering him?something in his own life?
i got no answer.
wow...that hurts.

It sounds like you have the right idea in describing your friend..."intolerant." It is sad that some people feel such need to control that they can't allow others their process--just as THEY had to find what worked for them.
Good riddance to him! What a hypocite! If he needed to be in a 12 step program, obviously his own life was a "self destructive & indulgent self grandiose circle" at one point, now wasn't it? Too bad it didn't teach him some COMPASSION.
He is not a true friend, and you're better off without him. One true friend is worth 100 fake friends.
Somehow he reminds me of my husband. After my DH got into 12 step groups, he started talking like he was so above me psychologically, and he started analzying everything I did and judging me like crazy. I think of the quote, "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
Now, if he really feels he can't be your freind he has every right to do that. The same for my DH. What infuriates me is this superiority attitude from people who are far from perfect themselves! Well, he's just showing his true colors. Don't miss him too long- he's not worth it!
i emailed him my point of view....& we each had our say(to be fair i do admit that his name was once on a "successful" suicide note...& it scarred him.
BUT....i am what i am,right?we are not all born with the wisdom of dr. phil.& so he doesn't want to be my friend(along with the toxic parade)well...there is nothing i can do.you're right.
Hey honey!