....the other victims

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2005
....the other victims
1
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 2:15am

I was wandering around looking for support for the "other victims" of suicide.


My brother commited suicide on Friday... no note, no reason... just left us all guessing.
His long time girlfriend and finace broke up with him, our parents died 9 years ago and he's never gotten over it, he was over weight and made fun of his whole life, our family stole the money from our trust fund and we nearly lost the house our parents built for us. I guess it was too much for him. He became enraged, starting breaking things, and walked out into the woods to be found about 2 hours later.


I am devisitated. He was 14 months older than I was. We were like twins, and he took a piece of me with him that I will never get back. The pain I feel for his loss is more raw than the pain I feel for the loss of BOTH of my parents. Knowing that he felt so low that he could actually pull that trigger. I've been there too, but I could never pull the trigger, or move the knife, or take the pill... I've been there.... OH have I been there! But now, I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful 7 week old daughter that I would have never had if I would have followed through with those things. There are so many people that love my brother, and I wish he only knew.


I'm begging you all... before you do anything... seek out someone you love, and I gaurntee, they reciprocate that love. The pain and guilt I now feel for not knowing how to help my brother is killing me, and will scar me for the rest of my life... more so than losing BOTH of my parents at the age of 10....


Please, from the heart of the "other victim"... think about those who love you... and don't do it...


I love you all... and I pray for your peace.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sun, 04-24-2005 - 10:26pm

Hi and welcome to our board. I think you will find it a supportive, caring place to hang out-- and share when needed!


I am SOOOO sorry for the loss of your beloved brother! I wish there were something I or anyone could say or do to bring him back and/or to ease your pain but unfortunately all we can do is be there and encourage you to talk it out when needed.


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