so upset...... pos trigs
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| Wed, 05-04-2005 - 2:51pm |
Ivillage dont dont the correct icon for how I am feeling right now, I am so brokenhearted. I just heard that my mom blames my child for my nephew molesting her and that it was only a few little bad touches, and that she doesnt understand why I am so mean to my nephew and well too make a long story short my mom doesnt love me and I know she never loved me like I wanted her to but she absoultely hates me b/c of my nephew, all I have ever wanted was my moms love I almost died when I had my brain bleed( due to abusing diet pills ) and she never came up to see me when the docs said I may not make it through the night, just an example of what I would do to get my moms love, I guess I better explain why I was taking diet pills as a little girl I was sexually, as no surprise from the age of 2 to the age of 15, any ways my mom would tell me that i am getting fat even when I was 76 pounds I was still fat to her, as you can see I would do anything to get my moms love and well now that I know I will never have it well it makes me so sad, all I can do is just cry and sob b/c I feel so empty right now.
Mary

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That is so caring of you to be in helping hands. You know, I wonder if there are any volunteer activities where you could bring your kids? I know most grandparents love to see any children and they really get a thrill out of it.
I did a few things in college like playing bingo at a nursing home and helping out with their tag sale. My problem is social phobia. I was afraid that they wouldn't like me and would think I was boring. I know I wasn't the greatest visitor they ever had but I hope at least I was better than nothing.
I am thinking about maybe just doing a bible study for a few of them an hour a week and maybe doing some crafts with a few of them, I would love to get some high school kids involved also so maybe then some of them will realize that the elderly needs friendships also.
Hugs to yall
mary
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