Self-nurturing
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| Fri, 05-06-2005 - 2:30am |
These are the ones I brainstormed, of course they may do nothing for you, I hope that they will inspire you to look for your own ways to nurture.
Physical Soothing
-hot chocolate (especially starbucks with whipped cream)
-hand massage/accupressure
-meditation (especially outside)
Nurturing Mother
I tried to think of what a nurturing mother would look like, and then how I could be that for myself. Again, this may not be applicable to you, but I hope you will find what is.
-There is time for play even if there is still work to be done
---I give myself permission to read "for me" on the bus (i.e. not studying)
-A shoulder to cry on...
---My feelings are valid
-...But also there to celebrate the joys
---I will take pride in and reward my accomplishments
-A hand to hold and lead the way
---It's okay to ask for help
-There to kiss boo-boos better
---I acknowledge my hurt
-And there to protect
---To keep me safe from harm, not cause it (i.e. not self-injure)
-To hold tight until the fear goes away
---By acknowledging my fear I gain power over it
-Will still love you after a temper tantrum
---Stay away from the things that fuel the anger and when the rage is done embrace it and accept it
Love all,
Amanda


hugs to ya
Mary
You're welcome. I hope that you will post them if you feel comfortable. I have more stuff, but I could only handle doing one at a time yesterday. I hope to get it all up soon.
Hugs,
Amanda
Nurturing Self-Care
by Brenda Lucas M.A.
What is it? What is your stress survival program? What is your self-care plan?
Whether one is a survivor of trauma, suffers from panic and anxiety, or is dealing with everyday sterss - self-care is an essential survival tool. Each of us must develop ways to tune in to our body's needs. Start with simple things. When you are tired, rest. When you have to go to the bathroom, go. When you feel like crying, allow yourself to cry.
Personal wellness requires personal attention adn self-discipline. From childhood, adults have been taught to take care of others and as a result, our own self-care has often been demoted to the bottom of iyr kust, Therefore, we need to take personal respoinsibility to nurture and to provide disciplined self-care.
Making ourselves a priority can be uncomfortable, especially learning to set boundaries within relationships. Balancing work and time with our families and friends acan be a real challenge. Practice saying "No," or "I will get back to you," when others make requests that you feel are disrupting your personal or work life. Many people have been taught to be all giving by watching the modelling of their parents and grandparents; and do not want to be seen as selfish. The end result can be an overwhelmed feeling of exhasution.
The conflict between being selfish or selfless can created a great deal of worry and axiety for those who worry about what others think of them Part of the answer is to relinquish one's need for approval, and the other part of the answer is to learn to set personal boundaries respectfully. As parents and adult role models, we can begin modelling for the younger generation and our peers the wisdom of self-care by saying, "The next 30 minutes are for me".
Sometimes we believe that it is just easier to do it ourselves if we want it done to our own standards. Those of who are Type A personalityies and are driven to perfection can suffer from worrying about making mistakes or things not proceeding in just the right way. The end result can be frustration and rushing to accomplish yet more.
The turth is taht we have no control over anything or anyone but our own behaviour. Acceptance of this ist he path toward freedom from personal suffering.
As children, one's developmental needs may or may not have been met. However, now as adults it is our own responsibility to set healthy boudnaries in order to urture and heal orselves. Some may choose to to this personal work on their own; while others may choose the support of a therapist or counsellro. If you choose to pursue counselling, it is important to take the time to interview the counsellor and to determine that the counsellor of your choice is a good match for you. Ask questions about the therapist's area of expertise, their experience, and educational foundation. Discuss with them their ethics about confidentiality.
What does a self-care plan look like? How does it work?
What do you enjoy doing that is nurturing? Make a list. Keep your plan handy. Take it out in times of stress or when you are in need of some nurturing self-care. Choose one thing. Do it!
Now what?
Take care of yourself; it is your responsibility. Remember, you are worth it!
Your Self-Care Plan
Here are some ideas that others have used:
Remember to breathe
Listen to a relaxation tape
Read a book
Play an instrument
Make a cup of tea
Have a massage
Play with a pet
Go to the beach
Play with a child
Keep a journal
Get cozy in a blanket
Cuddle with a stuffed animal
Dim the lights
Light a candle or incense
Add soothing music
Ask a roommate for support
Be with nature
Notice the clouds and trees
Listen to the birds
Take time for YOURSELF
Read the Women's Comfort Book
Repeat a daily affirmation
Exercise - do something physical
Take a walk
Take a bubble bath
Call a Crisis Line (Redial if BUSY)
Create and read your Phone list for hard times.
Hi Amanda,
You're welcome! There's more to come!
Hugs,
Amanda