just wanted to say

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
just wanted to say
3
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 12:45am

well just wanted to let yall know that I am doing better today, my mood is up and I feel great, only had a few depressive times today, my DD's dance recital is tomorrow at 6:30 pm and I am so excited she is so good at it that it brings tears to my eyes.

and I wanted to say thank you to everyone here b/c I have been at the end where I wanted to just give up and if it wasnt for you all reminding me that my children need me I would have done it, when I get that low I cant think of my children all I can think of my killing myself and you all dont let me.

I know some of ya donr believe in God and that is ok but a think to think of when you pray, is that God dont answer our prayers when we want him to he answers them in his own time, I have come close to death many many times and each time I know that God is there and loves me but I have to want to accept his love and his help.
I know in my religion that if you kill yourself then you go to hell but you know when I get that low I dont care and that is so wrong of me so please everyone I need to ask you when I get that low again could someone please remind me.

I listen to this song and it helps me about the death of my granny and it is called
Holes In The Floor Of Heaven By Steve Wariner and I know that my granny is watching me and my family, I know the pain of her gone will decrease in time but right now it just seems like someone ripped my heart out and handed it to me.

DH is starting to be a total jerk again I tell ya when it rains it pours on me, but I am strong and I have the love and trust in the Lord.

Just wanted to say thank you but it got a bit long and I am sorry for that, you all are a great bunch and very caring you all have a special place in my heart and in my life.

Hugs to yall
Mary

Mary
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 7:07am
Oh Mary it is so good to hear that you are feeling better! I am familiar with the song Holes in the Floor of Heaven,,,it is a beautiful song,,,and how wonderful that you can associate that with your Dear Granny,,,it is comforting for us all I think to believe our Loved Ones are still with us, watching and loving us but just from a different place than we are right now. Many people have told me what you said,,,that God answers our prayers in His own time,,,that can be soooooo tough when we are in a bad place,,,but again it is something to hang onto when there seems to be nothing else right then. Thank You for reminding me of that.
Enjoy watching your little girl dance Mary,,,capture it all in your mind and heart to revisit when you need to,,,I bet she'll be great and make you SO proud!
,,,,Abby
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 9:59am

Heyyyy Mary,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sat, 05-14-2005 - 4:34pm

hey Lori TY so much.
my dd is 13 and she has been in ballet and jazz/tap for 3 years and she is starting to do points( where she actually dances on her toes) I watch her and I get all teary eyes b/c her and her best friend are so good at it. They have been having professional dancers watch them and the professional dancers have said that they are great and if they wanted to they could go far. But I will not allow DD to do this as a profession, it is just for fun.
I cant wait till this night is over with have to do so much b4 the dance.

hugs to yall
Mary

Mary