Would like to share a story
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Would like to share a story
| Fri, 05-20-2005 - 7:57pm |
Hello all! I am just trying to figure out why a friend of mine from work just commited suicide last week. I used to work at this law firm for 5 years and I made alot of close friends there. I recently got a new job a few months ago but still keep in touch with the crew from my old place. Last Friday, I got a few disturbing calls and emails telling me that our friend Suzanne died. She called out of work on Wednesday saying her little girl was sick and that she may be out on Thursday also. I guess no one found that strange because it doesn't sound like an odd reason to call out of work. Late Thursday afternoon, an email went around from administration saying that she died. I was told that everyone was in complete shock and I can believe that. She was the happiest person and I don't ever think I saw her in a bad mood! She was 37 years old and had 3 daughters. Ages, 2,9 & 11. And from what I understand, she had a happy marriage also. Everyone is getting a different story as to how she did it, but no one knows if it's all true or not. The service was today but I didn't go. I am not able to get anytime off of work at my new job. From what I heard it was very sad and she did not look peaceful. I just wish there was more I could have done for her if I knew she was having problems and I think everyone is feeling that way. So, if anyone here is keeping things bottled up inside etc. I suggest you talk to someone. Suzanne didn't have a reason to do what she did and she will be greatly missed.

Thank you for sharing that story---as TRAGIC as it is! And welcome to the board also! I am sorry for the loss of your friend/former co-worker--and sorrier still for what her family now must endure! What a tragedy...
She may have been faking her cheerfulness. At my last job, I was very depressed for months. But when I left, a lot of people told me they loved that I "was always smiling" and "was always so happy and pleasant to be around". I was shocked, because I knew I'd been very depressed and apparently no one noticed. The point is, you can never tell exactly what goes on in someone's mind unless you ask. And even then, they may lie. It's easy to think someone has a great life from the outside but they may be hiding painful secrets and are secretly miserable.
Sometimes it is a selfless motive, that they don't want to burden other's with their problems. Sometimes they've tried to reach out to others in the past and have been burned. A lot of people don't want to be around depressed people, so they think if they are honest about their unhappiness they will lose a lot of friends. The sad thing is, it's probably true. "When you laugh, the world laughs with you, but cry and you cry alone." When you're sad for months or years, sooner or later everyone will get sick of it and cut you out of their life. So some people learn to fake happiness so well that no one can tell the truth. Then they are caught in their own trap, because now no one knows they need help. That is the dilemma.
I hope this helps you understand a little. Also consider that a lot of apparently happy marraiges are hiding secrets like infidelity or even worse. You really never know.