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| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 5:56pm |
If your not doing well please dont read this there are triggers in here and I dont want to trigger anyone.
not doing well, sorry cant get into wat is going on I dont even know that but just wanted to let ya all know tht I am still alive but not doing well and I am really leaning towards hurting myself very very badly. I have already cut. I hate myself and who I am cant continue to do this anymore. Tomorow is the D day, when I say that I get scared but I know thta it is the best thing to do for everyone around me, my kids say I am mean and when im not mean I just sit around well they will be better off w/o me.no one will find me, no one will care.
mary
Edited 5/23/2005 8:14 pm ET ET by black_ice22

Hi Mary,
Sandra.
A couple of weeks ago I said in front of my young son I wished I was dead. It was very wrong of me to say that but at the time I wasn't thinking. He looked at me for a moment and then said,,," I wish I was dead too." A couple of weeks later he said to me again that he wished he was dead,,,just out of the blue. My son is only 9,,,it was a scary thing hearing words like that come from his beautiful young face. Just maybe something to think about,,,heaven knows it has made me think.
,,,,,Abby
I never want my kids to think they are the cause of my death.
TY Lori
Mary
like I posted to Lori a bit ago is my hurt my ankle and cant walk on it and I think God has helped me through the night I am still depressed but to the point of killing myself. I love God he is so giving and he is so forgiving that I am very happy he gave me my 4 precious gifts and he has saved my life more then once, how can I hurt him and never be with him ya know.
hugs to you and thank you
mary
TY I am doing a bti better today and if I were going to go through with it I wouldnt beable to b/c I hurt my ankle but I am not I hope the struggle will get better in time I just have to make sure three is always going to be time to get better.
hugs to you Mary
Hey Mary,