Can anyone else relate?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Can anyone else relate?
6
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 6:06pm

Hi..I am new here.

I am 47 years old and I live in Canada. I am going to tell you about my life right now.

I have been on Zoloft and Celexa for about 5 years now. I am a Cancer Survivor for about 5 years as well.

I am married for 14 1/2 years now. I have two stepkids who live at Home. They are 22 and 23 and they have lived with us for about 10 years now.

My stepson is going to University 2 days a week to get his Honors. He really does not work otherwise. He seems to do nothing but come home at 3am in the morning and sleep all day while I am at work. He does no chores at home. He has been spoiled rotten.

My step daughter went to University 2 times and quit 2 times. She is working but she moves from job to job. She does no chores at home either. She comes and goes from the House whenver she feels like. She has been spoiled rotten.

I CALL OUR HOME A HOTEL..CUZ THESE KIDS ( WELL ADULTS REALLY AT 22 AND 23) COME AND GO LIKE IT IS A HOTEL.

Now, you are probably asking: WHERE IS THEIR FATHER? Well he was charged with fraud and has been in Jail since December 2004.

I have been working and paying all the bills on my own.

I have been so depressed lately that I often think of finding a way out.

I do go to church and I try to support Charities as best as I can. I have some good friends that I see off and on.

My parents are both dead now so I have no support there. I do not have any aunts or uncles or cousins that I know of. I have one sister who I get on again off again support from. I guess I am just lonely most of the time.

Thanks for reading....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Wed, 09-28-2005 - 8:03pm
Hi Kattigs,,,,fellow Canadian here too. I am truly sorry you are dealing with so much stress. I know I will probably say what others have said to you and what others who read your post may be thinking as well. Kat? At 22 and 23 why do you allow them to live there rent free? If there are not in school full-time and even if they were there is absolutely no reason why two adults are not holding down jobs and contributing to the household they reside in,,,,it should just go without saying. I can't help but to feel anger that they are taking such advanatage of you like that. I am sorry their father is in jail,,,,that is certainly extra worry and stress for you but still not an excuse not to get their butts out there and pound the pavement until they find employment. Can you not tell them you can't afford to support them and they must either find work by a set time limit and find another place to live ? Yes I would imagine it would be very hard to do that,,,but please remind yourself they are not 12 and 13 year olds but with a decade piled on top of that age and they should by alright be contributing to their own care if not caring for themselves entirely. My goodness when I think how I was on my own with my own car at the age of 23,,,,I can't fathom people that age doing that to you. Okay I'll shut up now,,,,I'm sorry,,,just hit a sore spot with me. Kat do you have a therapist? It may help a lot to have someone to talk to regarding this. Gosh I hope I didn't say too much to you,,,,I'm so so sorry if I did. I just can't help but feel badly that you are suffering from depression and having these two to worry about and support as well when you should be able to focus on you to help yourself. Much luck and strength to you,,,,Abby
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 12:54pm

Thanks Abby for reading my message!

I know exactly what you are saying. I feel exactly the same way.

My Dad died when I was 6 and my Mom when I was 24. I WOULD NEVER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER AND ANYONE ELSE LIKE THESE TWO 22 AND 23 YEAR OLDS ARE! They just seem to think that because this is partly their "Daddy's House" they can do what they want. Because their Dad is in jail and deals with the guilt, he is basically an enabler to them !
I don't know how I go about actually "kicking" them out without any heart feelings. They have a Mother who just does not care. They speak with her, but she is no support to them at all. She works as a Professor..can you imagine?

Anyhow..I know I need to speak with a Therpist soon..it is just getting time to go and see one !

thanks again Abby. ((HUGS))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Thu, 09-29-2005 - 11:16pm

Hi Kattigs,


Another Canadian here!


As a 24 year old university student I know the types of things you are talking about, of course from the other end. Only, I hope that I am

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 4:21pm

Hi there and welcome to the board--though I wish it were such that a board like this wasn't needed! I've been down that dark road and so I know how it feels and I am sorry you are struggling right now.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 09-30-2005 - 5:19pm

Thanks Amanda!

I appreciate what you have told me. I do take any suggestions to heart!

I am just stressed out a lot and I just need some support from these Kids!!!

(((HUGS))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Sat, 10-01-2005 - 5:28pm

Thanks so much Lori !

You ladies here are all so nice and supportive! Just what I need right now! Today is Saturday and it is a "good day" for me. Like many others, I have what I deem "Good days" and "Bad days.."

I am so happy that you are "Cancer Free" It is a tough disease and God gave me a second change. I feel very lucky that way!

I do not get much of a chance to get on this board because I, like many others, work full time Monday to Friday and then once I get home I am "exhausted." I think is part and parcel due to the Depression and the stress of my life right now.

As I had mentioned before, I try to do Charity Work and I do things at my Church as best as I can. I think it is important to help other people. I always know that there are others who have just as many if not more troubles than me!

Take Care..((Hugs)))..Kat.