Can't help feeling bad-poss trigg
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Can't help feeling bad-poss trigg
| Mon, 10-03-2005 - 5:03pm |
I have had suicidal thoughts for 6 years. I have been on and off meds. I have talked my brains out in therapy. WHat next? I feel like I have no future. I feel like my kids and my hubby would be better off and be happier it I were not here. There is still another side that says they would hate me if I ended it. The last thing I want is for them to go through this when they are older. At the end of my rope with fight!!!!

Hi there and welcome to our board. I think you will find it a supportive, helpful place--at least that is our intent!
I was brought up Catholic. I do go to church, now that the kids are old enough to sit still. I do pray and thank God for giving me what I have.
I did read Katy's posting. I am in no postion to offer advice for anyone right now so I didn't post to hers, but I do understand that the alternative is not the way. But it is hard to resist. I do feel for her and I do hope that when I am with a child that age I can be there for her and him. I love them so very much I don't want them to hurt. But sometimes I think I am the cause of there pain by being around. I would tell myself that everyone will get over it eventually. But the logical side that is there still sometimes tells me that my family will never get over it that they will be hurt for a very long time.
I have prayed to God to end it for me, but I guess he thinks I have something to offer this world.
I just got my meds changed today. I went to see a new pdoc. So hopefully this will work this time for a while maybe. Well life sure dealt me a crudy hand I guess. Thanks to this web site and these boards I am learning that I am not alone in this.
Welcome to the board. I am sorry that you are struggling with this. I know how hard it can be. I'm glad you can see that it would be hard for those you leave behind.
I am also glad that you have faith. Keep hanging on to that.
Keep posting!