Scared new girl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Scared new girl.
2
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 11:04am

Hi,

Well Im new here and joined for some support really. I've been worried about my mental health for sometime now, and am at the begining of seeing a psychiastrist to work threw issues about my past. Im holding back alot of feeling though. i don't know really whats happening, for years I've felt so angry about my childhood and when i was about 13 had somekind of breakdown; stopped eating,sleeping, got drunk alot, self-harmed. I came out of that with my precious pride still intact- I didn't tell anyone! Now its returned but different. I get low and don't want to try, feel suicidal sometimes self harm, drink or do weed to distance myself from the feelings and reality. A few weeks later Im high and happy, confident but confussed,rant to myself etc. Somewhere in between Im numb or normal, I thought maybe it could be like manic depression. But I don't want to admit Im like this to my psychiatrist, they think Im there to talk about my past. Is it possible my past has caused me to be this way? I don't really know. Any info or advice would be appreciated, sorry its along message I just needed to get it off my chest.

Thesweetdreamer

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 7:49pm

Hi there and welcome to the board. I'm glad you found us and I think you'll find it a supportive place to share and "vent." That is our hope, anyway--lol!


Although I'm not a psychiatrist, and not here to diagnose, there are several possibilities that come to mind as I read your post.... In my experience, depression can be caused by both situational, environmental and biochemical changes/crises. For me, I've experienced depression on and off for years (though thankfully it's been pretty much absent for a few yrs now!). Depression DOES alter brain chemicals no matter WHERE it originates. In my case, I believe it was caused by years of sexual abuse.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Thu, 10-13-2005 - 5:56pm

Welcome to the board. You have found a place where we definately can relate. I cannot say if you are manic depressive or not, that is up to the pdoc, but you have to be truly honest. No one said that you HAVE to only talk about the past. I don't know what else to say, but welcome. Post whenever you like.


Amanda