jstbu...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
jstbu...
5
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 6:48pm
How are you doing today?
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

co-cl of the Self-Injury board


co-cl of the Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings board


cl of the Get Organized board  Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 12:06am

Thanks...I saw you posted to everyone. You are fine as a CL---no apologies necessary. I posted the below on a couple of sites.

So I went to a 2 hour seminar on Managing Depression & the Dr. was concerned about the questionaire I completed. She asked that I make an appt with my doc to revie meds. So I do that...left 2 messages. Do I hear anything? NO! And this was after I was put on hold for 10 minutes.

I know it's not personal, but I made the step to try to improve things & just feel like noone listens or cares which pushes me further into depression.

I hate the weekends. I have no dates & it is just hard.

And here is my other post...

Hi,

This board has been so helpful as well as other boards. I am 40 & was dating someone for almost 3 months. He broke it off with me because he wasn't sure if he wanted to be in a relationship w/ me or anyone, 2) has issues (confirmed with a mutual friend)...commitment-phobe & to top it off has feelings for an ex that he has kept in touch with but has not been intimate with for over 9 years(when I started dating him, I told him they should go to couples counseling) I guess I should be so blessed we didn't date longer.

Anyway, it has been over 1 month with no contact. It has been hard. What has been instrumental is also reading "It's called a Breakup because it's broken" written by the same guy who wrote "He's just not that into you".

What I realized is that this person treated me the best ever. He complemented me & made me feel so beautiful & so alive. No, we were not intimate. What I am left now with is questioning if 1) it was ever true and will I ever find someone that can treat me like this & commit.

I feel turning 40, never been married, that I only have so many chances before it's all over....like in the next 10 years. I don't want to have kids so that's not a problem. I am just sad. It feel like I am just on the losing end. This last experienc really gave me hope & yes I do see the flaws in it, but how many times do I have to be doing this. With the high divorce rate, I question if love really exists. So many people do seem unhappy. Right now I know I am not ready to date. I feel very jaded & hopeless.

Also if you have any advice about what my response should be to "why are you still single". GAWD I feeel like a loser. I just tell them I haven't found Mr. Right plus I don't want to add to the divorce rate. All of my so-called friends have someone & well, I now consider aquaintance since they don't know or seem to care how hard this is on me. Yes, I am in therapy & on meds. I am doing everything.

Sorry to be such a bummer here. Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 3:59pm

Hi jstbu,


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 5:24pm

Thanks.

Wher'd ya meet him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sat, 11-05-2005 - 7:52pm

Good for you for going to the seminar and calling your dr. I'm sorry to hear that no one has gotten back to you. I know it feels that people just don't care and that you are doing everything you can and it's not getting you anywhere. Keep pushing though. That's the only way anything will get done. It's sad but if we want our mental health, we have to take charge of it.


I'm sorry to hear about the relationship that didn't work. Unfortunately I too had the perfect relationship and left it because I was a wus. But you are right, you don't have to justify being single. And it's never too late to find someone. It is hard when your friends are getting married and having kids as mine are and I'm the single one, so I know how you feel.


Well, I hope you continue to work hard at your situation. Nice to hear from you!


Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2003
In reply to: cl_schitz
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 7:27pm

I wanted to tell you that I can relate to *wondering* if what your XBF said to you was true. This kind of thinking produces alot of anxiety. In the past I have *wondered & what iffed* myself right into becoming physically ill. Not to mention the damage it does to one's mental health. Try to imagine a big stop sign in your head when this concern pops up. You'll never know what he meant or didn't mean, so try not to allow it to put you down or keep you down. You are NOT a loser. You will learn to cope with what has happened & move on. It never seems to happen soon enough. I know that when you feel so low, it's hard to have hope for a future relationship. I went to high school with a woman who never had a date until she was 45. She married the guy & they have a wonderful relationship. She never gave up & you shouldn't either. I have not always had such a hopeful attitude. I suffered a severe depression in the early '90's & don't ever want to go back to those days.