Been awhile didn't think i'd be back
Find a Conversation
Been awhile didn't think i'd be back
| Thu, 11-10-2005 - 3:06pm |
I have to keep this brief since I have no home computer now and am at work (supposed to be working!).
I haven't felt bad in a bit--but lately it's coming back. SI is very much in my thoughts, but I would have to chose a place where it wouldn't be seen--I guess I expose more than I thought! small grin
I don't want to think this way! I want to be the confidant person that's hiding in the corner of me, she just won't come out! I am tired of feeling so worthless, yet at the same time I know I AM NOT worthless. Perhaps, it is just from overuse--I feel my worth is all used up.
I reflected on how I haven't been able to keep a friend since forever--nothing seems to last beyond a few years---the longest friend was my ex-boyfriend--and now I'm doubly miserable since I have once and for all stood up for myself and told him enough's enough already. It was all give on my part--and him all take and empty promises. Lots of love but empty promises. You just can't do that to people, especially not like us on the edge.
Anyway, duty calls. And I'm sorry I can't help anyone else--having too much trouble w/ me!
Any online hugs would be much appreciated.
I haven't felt bad in a bit--but lately it's coming back. SI is very much in my thoughts, but I would have to chose a place where it wouldn't be seen--I guess I expose more than I thought! small grin
I don't want to think this way! I want to be the confidant person that's hiding in the corner of me, she just won't come out! I am tired of feeling so worthless, yet at the same time I know I AM NOT worthless. Perhaps, it is just from overuse--I feel my worth is all used up.
I reflected on how I haven't been able to keep a friend since forever--nothing seems to last beyond a few years---the longest friend was my ex-boyfriend--and now I'm doubly miserable since I have once and for all stood up for myself and told him enough's enough already. It was all give on my part--and him all take and empty promises. Lots of love but empty promises. You just can't do that to people, especially not like us on the edge.
Anyway, duty calls. And I'm sorry I can't help anyone else--having too much trouble w/ me!
Any online hugs would be much appreciated.

Sending {{{{{Akgrlathrt}}}}} hugs your way.... So good to "see" you again---though I'm sorry you are struggling with self harming thoughts right now. I hope you find (as I did) that work keeps it at bay--at least some, because of that fear of "what if people see/notice and I lose my job?" Not the best reason in the world not to self injure but hey, we take what works sometimes!
Got to go--failing my company by not working like a good employee.
Thank you so much for the hugs Lori-----I just wish I could feel them as much as I need to.
(((((hugs)))) and welcome back.
I'm sorry to hear that you have SI on your mind.
Keep working toward that confident girl in the corner of your mind. Don't let go of that dream.
I'm sorry I'm not much help but sending lots of hugs your way.
co-cl of the Self-Injury