Everythingis futile

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Everythingis futile
4
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 10:21am

I moved, and have no phone until Dec. 8 at least, and there was a problem with the washer and drier so I can't do laundry even though I desperately need to. I got an email from a staffing agency saying "call us..we have a job for you!" and went in to speak to them about it only to find out that I'm not qualified. So I'm in my business suit now, at the library, all dressed up with no job to go to because the agency decided I'm not qualified for the job they offered me! Waste of time, waste of time. That's all everything turns out to be.

Meanwhile at my volunteer job, they say I"m not reliable because I have no phone and they can't contact me. Excuse me, take it up with the phone company. Anyway, did I miss something, they're not paying me, so what do they lose if I don't come in? Nothing! I am tired of their attitude, they're so demanding and don't seem to realize that I get nothing in return- so I can't take their strict attitude, as if I were a real employee! Hey, you have to hire me before you can treat me like dirt, that is the way it usually works.

I hate life, I hate life, I hate life.

I also feel so lost and uncomfortable in the new apartment. I can't relax there or feel safe. I can't sleep there either.

How can I be so exhausted when I don't have a job? If I'm this tired all the time now, how will I ever manage to hold a job and function?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 2:24pm

Hi Blue,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 11:57am

((((Blue))))


Sorry to hear that you are in such a place right now. You don't deserve to feel like that.


I'm sorry that the job didn't work out. I hope they will find something for you soon that you are qualified for (and I hope it's something you love). I also hope you will take care of you. Maybe this is a sign that it's not time to work right now and you need a little break. That's what your exhaustion is telling me. OF COURSE you can be exhausted and not have a job. I think that not being able to sleep in your new place has something to do with it, don't you?


About your new place, what is it that doesn't feel right? Can you do a "cleansing" of it. I don't mean to sound too new-agey though hah. Maybe

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 12:18pm

Thanks, Schitz and Lori.

We got my washer and drier installed, and I've been doing laundry non-stop it feels like. And my DH still has four piles of dirty laundry. It's amazing how fast it piles up!

On Thursday, DH told me he's not happy with our marraige, or me, and he thinks we're going to get divorced. He said that I'm always in a bad mood and every day is a new crisis with me. I did not know what to say, but we had a huge fight and he ended up driving away and leaving and it was the middle of the night. I feel like I can't make him happy the way I am, but I can't force myself to be happy just because my depression annoys him. I feel like he's so selfish, but when I see it from his point of view I undestand why he's fed up with me. I'm always either depressed or anxiety. He doens't want a wife like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 4:20pm

Hi Blue,


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