My life is pointless

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
My life is pointless
5
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 4:27pm

After Christmas my mood went downhill fast. My days are so long and empty. All I do is an 8 hour a week job and the cooking and grocery shopping and laundry.

I feel like there is no reason for me to exist. I'm ashamed of my life when everyone else has a job. What can I say when people ask me what I do? Then when I tell them nothing, I feel like I want to disappear.

Why can't I get a job when everyone else can? I applied to the bookstore, I thought retail was always hiring, and they don't want me. What is wrong with me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 5:42pm

(((blue)))


You are not pointless. You are very special. Finding a job is hard work. I know of someone who has applied to 100s of places. Don't give up. I know how it feels to have to tell people you do nothing. I had someone ask me how I was going to pay for my apartment. I

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 11:38am

Hi Blue,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 3:02pm

Hi bluerains,

I am sorry you are feeling so down. I don't have a job either, and it does make me feel unimportant. But who you are is more than what you do. I know plenty of people who have jobs, who stink at being good human beings... so a job isn't all there is. Don't worry if one place turns you down...maybe try a whole bunch of places.

The holidays are hard, do you have any support people that you can talk to about how you are feeling? I know that might be hard, but they might be more understanding than you think. I'm also sorry you feel alone.

I hope something good happens in your life and you start to feel better.
Emily

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Sat, 12-31-2005 - 1:09pm

Thank you for supporting me Emily, Lori, and Schitz.

I still feel horrible but like I said to Emily in her thread, we're all experts at endurance here.

Happy New Year everyone. One more year closer to death, at least we can celebrate that. There is one silver lining to being suicidal- none of us are immortal, so we know this IS going to end sooner or later naturally. I hear that some people are afraid of death. Not me! I'm not afraid of death in the least. At least we have that bright side to look at.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Sat, 12-31-2005 - 5:20pm

Hi blue:

Just wanted to wish you a happy New Year and thank you for your post. I need to endure, even when I think I can't. The thing that really bothers me is that I scream silent screams (I'm a cutter) that no one hears... but then at times I let my voice be heard about how bad it is, and everyone else seems to think I have more endurance than I have. I feel hopeless at making anyone listen... so thank you for listening to me.

My hope for your new year is that it brings the promise of new opportunties and new feelings. Even though we think our past is a pretty good indicator of the future, life can pleasantly surprise us. I hope very much that will be so for you.

Safe hugs,
Emily