Having suicidal thoughts and need suppor

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Having suicidal thoughts and need suppor
3
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 8:59pm

I have been having suicidal thoughts lately. I am married and we have been having financial problems. I hate my job and have been looking for a job, but the job market blows. I'm in my late 30's and want to have a family, but I'm not sure I can handle having kids being depressed, etc. and have a family.

I have been having a short temper lately and it is affecting those around me. ALso, the other night, my husband and I had an argument and he said some pretty hurtful things. I don't even want to repeat it -- that's how hurt I am.

I am going to back to the psychiatrist tomorrow. Hopefully he can help me. I was on Zoloft for awhile and with everything that has been going on in my life, I never went back. Plus I was trying to see if I could live without the medication and it seems that I can't.

I just want to crawl in a hole. I have been feeling very down lately. My husband tells me that he can't help me and that he can only take me to the Dr. and that's it and that I have to "help myself." I have been helping myself, but I just a reasuring hug or reassuring words that it will be OK (even if it won't be). KWIM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 01-11-2006 - 11:49pm

Hi and welcome to the board--or, welcome back if you've posted before? Either way, I think you've done a courageous thing to reach out and I am pretty sure you will find this a supportive place to "vent" and share what is happening with you!


I'm glad you've decided to go back to the psychiatrist. Suicidal thoughts--as I'm sure you know, is a sign our mind gives us (albeit a BAD sign!) that something is wrong! Perhaps we've ignored the smaller "warning signals" or maybe, just didn't recognize them. In any case, it's good you are going for help, and yes, I believe you ARE "helping yourself" to the best of your ability! But we all need a little extra now and then, right?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Thu, 01-12-2006 - 4:58pm

Hi garfield. I relate to you. I've been unemloyed and just got an 8 hour a week job- the best I could get. My Dh isn't the most sympathetic either.

Right now I advise you to find someone loving and caring to pour your heart out to, because you're feeling alone with your cold DH.

I'd usually write more but I am really uspet from a driving ticket I just got, and a conversation with my own cold DH, so I'm falling apart. But you're not alone and since the present is horrible, there is hope for a happy future. Remember that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Thu, 01-12-2006 - 6:55pm

Thanks for your supportive words. My DH just isn't comfortable with this kind of stuff. My DH doesn't believe in counseling and he doesn't even go to the regular Dr., even if he's sick.

I have one friend who I can talk to, but I'm afraid to tell anyone else how I feel, other than on this board. She knows I'm depressed, but she doesn't know HOW bad.

Thanks again for your support.