How is everyone?
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How is everyone?
| Thu, 01-26-2006 - 9:04am |
Don't get me worried now! Let's all have a quick check in please!

co-cl of the Self-Injury board
co-cl of the Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings board
cl of the Get Organized board


Hi Schitz,
I'm still looking for a job and feeling so low about my non-career. I'm OK though.
I'm very bored with my life and not fulfilled. I'm very restless. I want to find a calling, something interesting that I'm good at. I want to have a good life.
It's one thing to drag your life out from the gutter, but for me at least, turning an acceptable life into a good one is even harder! I've been working on that for years but still no luck. Sometimes it seems like everyone around me has a cool life and I'm just existing.
Hey Amanda, ya beat me to it--lol! I normally do a roll call now the beginning of every month but hey, nothin wrong with being early either!
As for me, doing pretty well... working on making some changes in my life...job hunting...possibly moving... Other than that, all is well! Weather here is pretty good too. We had a storm or two in the past 10 days or so but it hasn't lasted because afterwards the temp goes up. Gotta love it! Hugs, Lori
I'm still around... just feeling a bit... well... sad... abandoned...
I was discharged from the IOP on the 18th... my 38th b-day. It was emotional, but I did it! I have been doing really REALLY well, feel soooooooooooo much better, everyone, including Alan, has noticed a huge difference in me, and for that, I am so very proud.
Anyway...
I emailed my original therapist *B* a couple of days ago...
"Bruce...
I didn't know what to do, I'm without therapy til 2/9... that's when Marsha (newer therapist) can see me. It seems like an eternity away.
I spoke with her today to find out if she had spoken to you regarding my returning to you... and she said that it's Dr. G (newer psych) who would call you, and she didn't know if she did so yet or not.
No problem.
However... Marsha reminded me of your saying that you want me to be stable for THREE months... I believe that I am stable now. Really. Truly. I haven't felt better. Yes, I have a few off moments here and there, but they are nowhere as severe as they were in the past, I promise you that. Things are REALLY good.
If you need to speak to someone about this... you can call Lisa S, she said that she would be happy to talk to you. (She is the IOP group clinician/leader.)"
Vida
His response...
"I don't think it would be a good idea - The specialized care you are now getting seems to be working well, which I am really glad to hear. I want to avoid a situation where you return, then relapse and we would need to start the process all over."
:( I am sooooooooooooo upset.
I'm totally crushed. I do NEED him, I feel like he's abandoning me.
I do understand what he is saying... but really, I'm OKAY, I can come back to him. I need to come back to him.
Yesterday I came home to find a msg on my answering machine, he said to either give him a call or to email him. I opted to give a call... which only led to leaving another voice mail msg for him. I pretended like I didn't get the email yet... I said that I can't get into my email account for some reason. Don't ask me why I lied... I guess I feel too hurt to say anything yet.
Anyway... I had called later to ask one of the secretaries if he was still in, she said yes, and I asked her to please remind *B* to call me, b/c it's better if I spoke to him via phone than via email. No problem. (I adore the secretaries there.) Anyway... Later I had to call about my balance... and she mentioned that she DID talk to *B* and that he would definitely get back to me. Okay... well... he never called.
He is concerned about my being so attached to S******N Clinic as well. But I don't care. That's where I belong. I need his office back, it's my safe place. :(
I'm going to cry right now. Some IOP "graduate" I am, huh...
Vida
(((Blue)))
Nice to see you.
I understand what you are saying about your "non-career". I'm right there with you. Don't get discouraged. These things take time and I'm sure the path that is right for you is out there somewhere.
When you aren't going where you want to be going with life it is normal to feel bored and restless. Why don't you take this time to do the things that you love? Make this a time for you.
It is definately a lot of work to make life what you want it to be, but keep working, it will come.
Hugs,
Lori,
As always it is wonderful to hear from you, especially to hear what is going on with you. So often we only hear from you in the form of helping others (which is definately your calling!)
It sounds like you have some exciting and potentially anxiety producing things going on. Don't forget to take some time for you!
Hugs,
Vida,
Hugs!
You are an excellent IOP grad! You are just letting the negatives negate the positives. Please hold on to those positives and keep working at it. You may be getting stable now but as you said he wants you stable for three months. I know that seems like an eternity, but it is not. I promise you. It is a finite length of time. Make it your goal to get through that period one day at a time. DOn't think of the whole thing or that will become overwhelming. One day can be done. I'm going to bump up my post that is a poem called Yesterday Today and Tomorrow. I want you to read it and think about it. Live it. Read it again. Hang in there.
co-cl of the Self-Injury
Hey Amanda,
Lori,
I would definatly be interested in hearing any kind of post from you and Amanda too. Even though you're leaders, you're also members of this board and we're all here to support each other. It feels good to give support and you both are great CL's who deserve it. So feel free to post anything- that's how I feel anyway.
co-cl of the Self-Injury