triggering Enough
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triggering Enough
| Tue, 02-21-2006 - 10:40pm |
It's been a long time since I've posted. I have been fight PTSD and sexual abuse for many years now. I very often have thoughts about ending it. I've come close a few times. But now I'm really close. I don't care anymore. I'm just so tired of fighting. I just want peace. I always kept going for the family, well now I don't care. I can't hand the crap for work because I'm on a Dr. sick leave and my supervisor is putting it at unexcused when I have my T and two Dr. putting on this leave. I have a teenage son that has a close head injury that is putting me thru hell and may not graduate this year. I have a 12 year old daughter that thinks shes 25 and can do and wear what she wants. I screwed up the check book so bad that for the first time in 40 years I bounced checkes and ruined out A++ credit. I messed up our taxes. I can't keep the house clean. I just can't kept up anymore. I'm tired and I want to die. When do you call it quits? I say now. Enough
joan
joan

Am so sorry that you are struggling so much right now. I wish I had a magic answer for you as well as for me. I can relate to quite a bit of what you wrote tho. I don't know how to tell you to keep moving forward, other than just one second to the next. I hope that you get some reprieve from how you are feeling tho and find the energy to keep going. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and feel sad that you are still in such a rough place. Hopefully with spring coming soon, you will find some things to do that will help occupy your mind and help you find some inner peace. You've come along way! Don't forget that! Keep us updated on how your doing, ok?
Sandra.
Hi Joan,
Hi, Joan.
It does seem like problems come like an avalanche, one after another until you can't take it any more.
I know as a parent you have to help your kids, but it sounds like there are three seperate issues here: your problems, your son's problems, and your daugther's problems. One person, you, can't solve problems for three people and remain sane. Do you have support like family? If you can ask other people to help your kids while you concentrate on you for awhile, you may get a little break. You need a break because it's too much for one person to deal with.
Your daugther may be rebelling becuase she's worried about you and her brother. It's a lot for a teenager to deal with as well. It sounds like you need some peace and quiet, can someone babysit while you go spend time with someone supportive and have some downtime? You need to recharge those batteries becuase when you're burned out and exhausted, everything seems impossible.
Are the kids in their own support groups?