a suicide trigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
a suicide trigs
5
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 9:14am

Someone in my family took her own life the day before yesterday. It is a shock for everyone as a week before another family member in the same family died of an accident. Seeing and being with my brother and father who saw her has made me 'see' this in a different way. What I mean is,,,I have often contemplated suicide, planned and thought deeply about it, but it isn't until it comes this close to your life can I say I am looking at how devestating it is for those left behind. I know this woman was desperately hurting and many of us feel great guilt that we should have known or seen or done something. I think she just so needed to be with the person who had died just before her, both were too young to die. I'll be going to my 2nd funeral in a week.

Please I mean no disrespect,,,I know how black somedays can get,,,all I was trying to say was it just opened up something in my thoughts somehow that wasn't quite there before after getting that very sad phonecall.

Abby

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:55am

Hi Abby,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 1:09pm

((((Abby))))


Hugs and love. So sorry that you had to go through both those funerals. It sure does put things in perspective. I hope you will cherish every moment.


Hugs,

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co-cl of the Self-Injury

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 1:16pm

Abby,

I'm so sorry. Were you close to her? No matter what, that must really shake you up.

You are absolutely right and very perceptive to notice the impact on everyone left behind. That includes you- so make sure you're getting support and talking about your feelings too.

Funerals are so hard. I don't really want to go to them, in fact I don't always go because sometimes it would upset me more than comfort me and it's too much. Don't feel obligated to go to the funeral unless it would help you, you've already been through enough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 6:23pm

Thank you for everyone's kind words,,,I appreciate it. I did want to say to Bluerains, I don't think anyone really wants to attend a funeral. You know you are coming into a building that is at that time swelling with such saddness,,,it is hard to be there watching others hurting so badly and that conjures up pain in ourselves that is sometimes more than the hurt we are feeling for the person who we lost. I wasn't going to go to the last one, frankly I was afraid. But I thought about it, thought about those there who would feel better somehow in having me there and I put my feelings to the side and went. I was in the end very glad I went and although it hurt to be there I just knew it was right. Ironically the woman who took her own life was in the same pew with me and one other person,,,oh God thinking back how I could feel her wretching pain,,,it was just so so sad.
Now in a couple of days she will not be standing in any of the pews of this same church, she will be the one we have gathered there for to cry and pray for. I will pray for her soul, and I will tell her how so very sorry she was hurting so badly, I will also tell her I am sorry she decided to do what she did. She will be missed and many will be left with questions and guilt feelings,,,,just saw her the other day,,,,breaks my heart at the waste. Things would have gotten easier,,, life would have opened up for you again,,,I pray both of you are at peace and with each other.

Thank You,,,Abby

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Thu, 03-09-2006 - 11:56am

Abby,

You're very courageous to go to both funerals and I know it must mean a lot to the family. I'll be thinking of you as you go through this.