doing ok
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| Fri, 03-17-2006 - 7:13am |
a lot has happened in my life since the last time I posted.pretty sure this is a trigger free post.
my sister who has a seizure disorder is missing no one knows where she is at, the police are looking for her, and they are staying in touch with me and I stay in touch with my parents she left the house where she was staying at a few days ago and her boyfriend says she left with out her medicine, and if she doesnt take her meds she has bad seizures.
My mother works at the hospital that I went to and found out by one of the nursing staff there that I was in there and the reason I was in there, so I had to actually stand up to my mom and tell her that I really dont want her to know my business and if I wanted her to know then I would tell her, and it really changed our relationship for the better I am now an adult to my mother instead of her baby, and now she knows I will not stand for any of her tricks or triggers, she even complimented me on being a good mother and how proud she is of me and my DH for raising our kids the way they are, which my mom usually isnt like that, but I guess even she can change.
I have really started to work on this depression and hopefully I never do what I did again but cant say it will never happen again I have to live for the day and for my kids and it gets hard real hard at times and I fall so fast and so hard that I dotn even relize that I need help most of the time until its too late
home schooling is going ok I am really thinking about maybe puting my kids back into school it is becoming really hard, but then I am not one to back down and I really want my children to have a good education and they just werent getting that from public school, and they really dont want to go back to public school so I guess I will have to continue to home educate them.
Mary

Hi Mary,
Hi Mary,
I hope they find your sister!
I'm glad you spoke up to your mother.
If homeschooling is too much, public school is a good option. I remember it well and know it's hard- the social life and the stress. But in a way it's a good preperation for "real life" after graduation because as we all know, life is stressful and tough.
And and sadly, everyone has to be able to deal with that sort of stress and challenge throughout life. If your kids have a rough time in school, it could make them stronger in the end because they'll learn to face challenges instead of getting used to having you protect them too much- which you can't do forever.
It's wonderful that you were there for your kids for so long in such a big way to homeschool them, but if you can't do it anymore don't force yourself.
Just take care of yourself.
Mary, I'm so glad to hear that you are doing okay.
WTG for standing up to your mom. When I was in the hospital (not this time but last time) I didn't call my mom. I didn't want her to know. It is your right to make that call or not. I'm surprised and pleased that your mom complimented you and DH on raising the kids. I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job. I know that you are such a wonderful person. I know it's tough but keep going with the homeschooling. I bet it will be something to be so proud of yourself for and of course proud of your kids.
Hang in there, hugs always.
co-cl of the Self-Injury
yea I was shocked that my om said nice things to me and I am glad that I stood up to her I know it isnt always going to be the way I want it to be bc my mom isnt a healthy person for me but at least I can say that I stood up to her and I feel good about it. Schooling is very hard but I cant and wont give up on it my children are so important to me and I will not give up on this, our school system here sucks my DS was in 2nd grade and his reading and math were and preK when I pulled him out of school and now he is in 4th grade and is doing 6th grade math and is actually reading better then he ever has b4 he even stuttered a lot and since I have home schooled him he doesnt stutter anymore.
I hope you are feeling stronger and more able to cope with your triggers and remember you can always lean on us that is wat we are here for.
Mary
Thanks Mary,
I am doing okay and the urges are pretty much gone. Sometimes I don't know where they come from, so I can't really identify my triggers, but that's okay. I'm surviving.
Keep hanging in there and WTG again on the homeschooling. You've done excellent work. Pat yourself on the back.