hospital vs. jail
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hospital vs. jail
| Sat, 03-25-2006 - 12:15pm |
Depression has been a major part of my life for almost ten years now. This month I turned 26 and am more depressed then ever because of my schizo-affective symptoms etc. In the last five months I have od three times. Every time I get close I get scared and tell someone. Now I am in a restricted facility and don't have access to any money. Will they send me to jail if I steel the pills and alcohol? That is if I survive the od. They staff at the facility where I'm at has told me that I will be sent to an eating disorder clinic the next time I over dose. That is not necessary but I'm willing to pick up some pointers on the subject if I go there. Any comments and suggestions are appreciated.

Hi Came,
I'm 26 too. I'm also chronically depressed.
It seems like you're planning for your life to get worse. Jail, etc. are not healing places. Instead of planning for the worst, which could be a self fulfilling prophecy, can you imagine some pleasant options?
Try to envision your life getting better, not even worse. If you want to die now, that won't change in jail- and probably won't change in an eating disorder clinic either. I can't imagine those would be very happy places to live.
Try to plan for the best, because thoughts become reality and you have to imagine happiness and a better life before you can find it.
I can't advise you to chose between hospital and jail because they both sound miserable. What's option C?
Hi and welcome to the board...though I'm sorry such a board is even needed! I wish none of us ever had to be in so much pain!
"Bluerains" shared some real wisdom with you.... I hope you WILL consider "What is Option C?" I don't want to downplay your pain--I and others here have been there, but on the other side of it I DO know that it DOES get better! There was once a time when I od'd frequently over a period of about 4 yrs. I was fortunate--someone called me several different times to chat and I ended up confiding in them and asking for help. Or else I'd panic and seek help on my own. I believe that as much as we don't want to believe it when we are in such a dark place emotionally that the body's goal is survival! Instincts take over for those of us who are fortunate enough, and we reach out! I believe that is what is going on with you now. You are desparately in pain...you want to die, and yet, there is a wise warrior in you, a survivor who seeks an alternative to the pain and seeks life!
co-cl of the Self-Injury
Hi Sharon,
You inquired about my children (really young men, but to me, my little boys!) They really turned out to be great young men inspite of me.... Since my divorce in 1993 I'm afraid I was not too well adjusted. That's when I kind of fell apart and haven't gotten it too together until this year. Many factors contributed to my depression.... poor choices with relationships, the death of my father, my youngest son going through a horrible period when his father left. I had both of my boys in therapy for a while and I think that really helped them cope with the situation and with me. They are very supportive of me and tell me they love me all the time. When I am in the fog of the deepest depression, unfortunately I am unable to think clearly to remember that my children would be a mess if I succeeded in my self destruction. Even though I am feeling better now, each day is a struggle not to go backwards. I also try to remember that life is not a destination. It is the journey that is important. One must be very aware of the "now". Live in the "now". Don't ignore all the wonderful things and people around us. Be sure to love yourself, take time to pamper yourself. I am also learning to follow my "gut" feeling. If it doesn't feel right for me, then it isn't. All too often I ignored funny feelings and that is when I got in trouble. I just finished a book called "Blink" The Power of Thinking without Thinking. It is a wonderful book. I recommend it. It really makes sense about following your heart when making decisions. Have a great day. Sharon
Came 2006
I have been in an Eating Disorder hospital and let me tell you it isnt a happy place it is like jail if it is like the one I was in it was a locked ward and the bathrooms were also locked and you had to be watched when you went to the RR.
I just recently OD and luckily my best friend called me and figured out something was wrong with me, and I am so happy I didnt die even tho it was a close call, but death is permanent and the depression is only for a short while, it is hard I know to think of it that way when you are so into your depression and your thoughts, but the truth be known it is a selfish and permanent act that hurts all that know you.
I have had my stuggles of depression for 20 some years now and I have my good days and I have my low days, and when I have my real low days where I am going to hurt myself I know I have to get around ppl and talk to them, life is too short and too valuable to do something so permanent. I only hope that you feel better and ask for help when you need to I know that is a hard thing to do when you are so depressed and just want the pain to stop but it is something you have to do for yourself.
hope you feel better
Mary