ect treatment-memory

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
ect treatment-memory
19
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 8:51pm
Hi, i'm a 19 year old teenager, I'v ben struggling with ocd/depression for the past 3 years but lately it got so bad I had to withdraw from college, and come back home. I have been hopitalized 2 times for the past 2 months and the doctor reccomended ECT. I wnat to know has anyone here had thsi tretament. If so, how much memory prior teh treatment was lost, because I really really want that. I've been tormented by thoughts everyday. I don't want to live anymore if this ect tretament failed, i want to forget everything and start over.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 11:48pm

Hi and welcome to the board! I hope you'll stick around and let us get to know you--and vice versa!


ECT is a tough one and I am by no means an expert on it! Perhaps others here can share more personal experiences? All I have to go on with this topic is opinion and my college studies (I got my degrees in the mental health field but am not in that capacity here!)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 1:46pm
it's funny, my ocd /depression was casued by my ex because i was SOOOOO insecure....i loved him, he was a great man, but my thoughts got so bad i had to leave..and teh thoughts stayed with me
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 6:00pm

Hey there,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 7:26pm
ok, i should have explained more...ok ever since we go out, EVERY LITTLE TINY thing woudl trigger me. say little things liek holding hands, i woudl start thinking'what if he held his ex's hand more than we do on avaerage? what if he liekd her hand more? do he really wnat to hold my hand? is he hodling my hand cuz he want to or because he felt like he need to..." it drove me crazy! and i never had the same feelin for anythign else, i've sen 4 therapists, been on 8 medications, i tried everything to save our realtionshiop, now i'm trying to save myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 7:36pm
if little things liek holding hands could drive me crazy, imagine how it's liek for me for the past 2 years. I had to break up with the love of my life becuase of the thoughts, i was starting to hate him because of the thoughts. I DON"T WANT TO HATE HIM. I love him, he never ever done anythign wrong. That's the sad part. He never said he'll leave, never did anythign wrong to me. I thought teh breakup woudl free me from teh thoughst but I was wrong, they are hauntign me everyday, now including my family memebers, not only him. I feel worthless, i feel unloved at teh same time knwoing it's not true. I had to withdraw this semester, i can't work. This was never my plan, I do not want to b liek this for the rest of my life. Just thinkign about it makes me scared. I wnat to raise my parents, i want to marry the one i love, i want kids. Knowing that i might not be able tears me apart. Can you blame me for being this hopeless? No one can, unless they can be more for ONE DAY, just one day. I'm forced to push away the man i loved. I'm forced to hate my fmaily members, i'm forced to withdraw school, i'm forced to feel unloved, and guess who's forcing me all this..MYSELF! If teh ETC doesn't work, i really really don't know what I could do, i might as well leave this world. I rather die than feeling liek this all the time, i'm not being weak, but this is just so bad, i rather lose my legs, i rather lose all my limbs to be liek this and i mean it. I miss my boyfriend still. I always asked myself what have i dids wrong, am i a bad person, to deserve this? If there is god, then why did he gave me such hard,painful task? can he hear my daily cries? i've been crying so loud, my neighbors call to complain to my mom. i was always a happy person. thank you for reading.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 11:10am

I wish I could give you an in person hug right now but unfortunately, it's gotta be a cyber hug.... {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Your suffering is really clear to me in your last post.... It breaks my heart

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 3:21pm

Hi Bebe,

It sounds like paranoia more than insecurity. I don't mean that as an insult- it's a medical term.

Did this suddenly come on out of nowhere, or have you always been a worrier and now it's just out of control? If it truely came out of nowhere, have you been checked for schitzophrenia and brain disorders?

If you've been insecure your whole life and it's recenlty gotten out of control, it's time to learn new coping skills which is possible.

Probably the stress of college and being on your own for the first time triggered this. It's critical to break the pattern now before these thought patterns seem normal to you.

Before you get ECT, I think you should make sure you have the right diagnonsis. You can't get the right treatment unless they know what's going on with your body and mind and emotions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 9:40am

Hi.

Sheri Ann

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 11:07am

Hi Sheriann,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 2:26pm
i wanted to cry when i heard your case, it's so simlar to mine. I actually lost my boyfriend of 3 years 2 months ago, i told him to leave because I was going crazy. I don't think I'll ever heal, i've been on every ssri, antipsycotic you can think of. I would have been gone if it wasn't for the fact if I suicide, i have to go to hell. I'm basically insane now, I'm using my last bit of sanity to type this to you. I'm glad you're saved. OCD is horrible, I rather lose an arm or leg. I lost my boyfriend, i can't go to school, and I can't even go to work. I lost every last bit of my self confidence. God, just let me die, the last thign he could do for me is give me cancer or something. And Ect didn't do anything for me. I don't understand, if God's not going to let me die, at least make me feel better, what does he want? I'm going to punch him when i see him and be like"that wasn't funny" i'm sorry if i'm not making sense. my ocd had been going downhill since 1/2 year ago. You do not know how psyoctic i've turned. I'm going back to my room and cry now.

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