I'm still here

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
I'm still here
9
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 8:41am
I was hoping to hear from someone. I guess my problem needs to be addressed by a professional. I am extremely depressed about what is going on with me and I am in and out of whether or not I should continue living. I have a dog that I've had fo 8 years. She's the one thing that keeps me going. Unfortunately now that I've been evicted I don't know what's going to happen to her. I love her dearly. Can someone please advise. I can hardly think straight. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2006
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 10:56am

Hi hubbub!

It sounds like you are going thru a really terrible time. It seems the people around you at your jobs are not very nice. Can you work out a payment plan with your landlord? what about the cookie business? Is that making any money for you? You said you moved to IA two years ago...what about leaving and going back where you came from? Do you have friends there you could stay with until you got back on your feet and found a job? Just some ideas that crossed my mind when i read your post. i'm sorry you are feeling so hopeless and my thoughts are with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 11:07am

Hipchicky had some great ideas. If moving to another state is too expensive, what about moving to another town far from the cult and bad memories? Maybe one with more jobs?

Is there anyone at all you can live with to get back on your feet?

I don't understand the situation at your shelter job, but I'm sorry you got fired. Next time you get a job- don't mention anything negative about your personal life, becuase if they think you have too much baggage they will judge you too quickly. First impressions are really important.

Since you got two jobs recently, you have a great chance to get a new one and a new start. Try to let go of the past- don't let it sabotague your future jobs- and remember that you got hired before and can do it again.

I am job hunting too so I know how hard it is. But what can you do except keep trying, and keep hoping. If worst comes to worst and you have to go to that shelter, remember it's only temporary! And I'm sure they must have some programs to help residents get jobs, because they want people to be out of the shelter and self supporting. But maybe it won't come to that, if your landlord will work with you or you find someone you can stay with for awhile.

But if it does come to that- remember, that's why they are there- and ask them to help you find a job. So you can move out ASAP...to a better life.




Edited 5/6/2006 11:08 am ET by bluerains
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 11:20am

Thanks hipchikny. All the questions you've mentioned like staying with someone I know back where i came from; I already looked into that. Only one friend out of the few that I have there has offered to let me stay with her. I was trying to keep my dog - she has 3 cats and my dog doesn't do to well with cats. Guess I can try to temporarily house my dog here in Iowa at a dog shelter and go stay with her in Georgia till I get a job. I don't even have money to transport myself back to Georgia. If my dog is euthanized because of all this mess, I will definitely kill myself.

I made payment arrangements with my landlord the first time I was fired. The rent is $380 a month and I paid him dilligently $75 a week. However when I got the new job I paid the next month partial with a promise to pay the total with second paycheck he agreed. I lost my job before I could pay the balance. So now he refuses to make arrangements. I got an eviction notice yesterday.

My cookies are not making money. If I weren't so depressed about my situation I could put some samples together and put them in places. That was the plan... I told myself last week that even though I'm losing my housing quickly bake cookies and place them so that I can start getting orders. This could be an option but I've spent a week trying to find employment and just being depressed. I can hardly think straight. My days are eaten up with worrying.

Compared to when I was young the energy level, motivation and get up and go to survive has diminished. I have to admit the I used to treat looking for a job like a job and would look all day. I can hardly wake up and when I do wake up I'm depressed. I'm afraid that whereever I go to work I will fail and get fired. It feels like it's something about me that's making people treat me like like this. I feel like a monster that nobody wants to work with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 11:31am

Thanks bluerains. I don't have two nickels to rub together - so I won't be moving to a new town till I get a job. But your suggestion to get far away is a good idea. I did start looking for jobs up in Iowa City last week. The university of iowa is there and the city has a pretty decent job market.

Yes, I've resolved that moving to the shelter may be my only option and yes I know it's temporary. Unfortunately I used to work there. I don't think the manager will be happy to see me especially now that I filed a claim against her with the civil rights commission. I thought it was discriminatory for her to say I couldn't work there because of my decision to leave the TM movement. Actually it wasn't my idea to file the claim. One of my friends that is studying to be a lawyer told me to file it. Maybe I should not have taken my friend's advice.

Yes, first impressions are important and I think I've learned from this to keep my big mouth shut. Also I've learned to be very careful with emails.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 12:02pm

Hi Hubbub,


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 1:13pm

cl-onceachild: "I will NOT be a victim! I'm going to get through this!"

I'm glad I decided to come here for support. All of you guys have made me feel alot better. I still feel a little wobbly but all 3 of the responses from all 3 of you guys has been helpful. The advice is much appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Sat, 05-06-2006 - 3:25pm

Hipchickny here's a picture of my doggie Hobo. http://blisscookiecompany.com/hobodog.gif

I love that dog! I'm weirded out because she just ate something weird on the ground when we went for a walk. Never mind I probably wouldn't kill myself if something happened to her but I would be extremely saddened.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 4:56pm

Depression, as well as the circumstances in your life can make it so you "can't think straight"


I don't know enough of your situation to really advise you on it, but maybe talking to your doctor or counsellor will

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2006
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 5:44pm
Thanks! If it weren't for Hobo doggie I would probably be more depressed. Thanks for your input.