Reached out to make a new friend
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 05-17-2006 - 10:08am |
I did something I've never done before: been the one to reach out to make a new friend. Usually, I let all my friends make the first steps to come to me, so I know they like me. But that wasn't working anymore because I haven't made a new friend in about 3 years, and all my friends were long distance.
So, I invited a co-worker to lunch. She's the one who had me over for dinner a few weeks ago when DH was away, so I guess in a way I didn't make the first move. But usually I would sit and wait for her to suggest something else...or not. I was so nervous! I felt nervous the whole time, and kind of scared. She is so nice. And she's such a positive person. She's very warm and kind.
I complained too much about some problems in my life, which I told myself NOT to do- but I was really nervous. And very afraid she wouldn't like me. (I still am.)
I thought you guys might like to see that I practice what I preach...I try to challenge myself and improve my life. There is a saying I heard, "Do the thing you fear to do." That does NOT mean do something negative or destructive, of course. But if you fear to do something positive and healthy, it means that is what you need to do to grow.
I try to follow that advice when I can, of course I can't very often. But once in awhile I do. I think I have a new friend now.
I think the universe gives us "assignments" that will make us grow. And if we ignore a few, it will keep sending more until we do it. When I'm really afraid to do something positive I take it as a hint that the universe is giving me, that's my next challenge.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm progressing at such a snail's pace compared to most people, but I have so many fears- that "normal" things are a huge challenge for me. So my small achievements make me proud.
Edited 5/17/2006 10:14 am ET by bluerains

Hi Blue,
Thank you Lori- I was kind of worried that most of my posts are "off topic", but where else would someone understand how I feel about daily life? Even when I'm not in total despair, everday life is a constant struggle for me...probably why I end up in total despair so often, LOL.
I know some of it's chemical/physical/genetic, some of it's personality, and some of it is habit, some is from past traumas, and all totals together in a way that makes normal life very hard for me.
Thank you so much for saying that I'm insightful and have wisdom, that means so much to me! It really meant so much to read those words Lori since I respect you a lot- in fact, you and Schitz are kind of inspirations for me becuase you are both functioning so well despite emotional/physchological problems...which is my goal too. You have followed the light at the end of the tunnel and come out the other end, which seems really rare. So many of us seem to get stuck, in the same defeating, sad and lonely cycle, and it takes a lot to break free.
"I also liked your comment about the universe giving us "assignments" that will make us grow... I believe that strongly!"
The timing is meaningful, because this is the first time I've met someone I liked enough to take the risk. And at the same time, I was ready to take a new step. Both came together at the right time, after years of missing far away friends. I'll never be a social butterfly but I don't have to be totally alone either, which is good to have a balance. I can be alone when I want but I can spend some quality time with people I care about, too.
Blue,
That is excellent that you made the NEXT move. Sometimes the second move can be as difficult as the first. There was likely some unsureness (is that even a word?) on both parts. I'm sure she was glad that you asked her to lunch. She sounds like a wonderful person and I'm glad that you can have someone like that in your life.
I think I posted the quote "Do the thing you fear to do" and can find the author if you like.
I agree with your idea of the universe giving us assignments. That was well put and I think