Need help...I'm barely hanging on..TRIGS
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| Sat, 05-20-2006 - 2:06pm |
Hi all,
I've posted here a few times before. I'm also on the SI and BiPolar boards. I think I'm at the end or nearing the end of what I can handle. I have taken a bunch of pills, and I'm about to take a nap with my 3 year olds. It's not enough to hurt me...I don't think, but at least I can snuggle in my soft and secure bed and sleep. That's all I want to do anymore. My house if a total disater, I can't get a hold of my laundry, and my husband and kids are pulling me in a hundred directions. I know I need to admit myself, but I'm too scared. I'm really scared they will take my xanax from me, and that is my security blanket...knowing I have them when I need them. Thank you all for allwoing to me express my feelings without being ridiculed. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Hopefully I can check back later...but right now I'm going to bed. I can barely see to type.
Hugs to you all,
Renee

Dear Renee,
Hi Renee,
I hope you feel better and got some rest. It sounds like you have a lot of kids, how many do you have? Is it too much work to do that's getting to you or is that just part of it?
You're only one person and can only do so much. It sounds like you have a lot of work to do and it's exhausting you physically, mentally, and emotionally. I'm not sure if there's other stuff going on or if it's simply stress overload, but that is more than enough sometimes.
Time to enlist family, friends, and perhaps babysitters to give you a break- you can possibly hire someone to clean the house too. Trying to do it all is impossible.
It sounds like you're tired and it makes you feel like you're tired of life. But can you consider that maybe you're just tired of the status quo, and that life might have some better possibilities out there for you? When the milk goes bad, you throw out the milk, but it doesnt' mean you toss the refrigerator into the trash, now does it? If your car pops a tire, you need to replace it, but you don't need to throw out your car, do you? And in the same way, if parts of your life suck, then by all means get rid of them, but it doesn't mean you need to cancel life alltogether. Nature and God takes care of that and we're not experts enough to make the executive descion on that one. Just throw out the bad parts of your life, not the entire thing.
Hi, I'm still here. I did the same thing yesterday, and took a bunch of pills. I just slept most of the day. I know I'm playing with fire, and I've got to get some help. Yes, I am overwhelmed. I have 5 kids ages 16, 14, 12, and two 3 year olds. My husband works long hours, I'm here with the little ones all the time, and I'm just tired! We sold our house back in December, and haven't been able to find another we like. We are now renting a house half the size of our other one. My older girls fight all the time. My husband and I fight all the time, and I'm just sick of it all. It just feels so good to sleep. I think I will call my pdoc tomorrow and see what she suggests. If I do go to the hospital...I won't be able to see her. It will be the docs that are at the hospital. Thanks for your replies...I appreciate it! I don't have anyone else I can talk to about this.
Hugs,
Renee
Hi Renee,
Hi Renee,
Constant fighting is really stressful. Do your teenagers know how you feel, that you're at your limit? Would it help to talk to them and ask for more help around the house, or are they not able to tone it down a little?
I think a 14 and 16 year old should be old enough to help you out a lot around the house, and give you some free time to relax without all the noise and chaos. Even for an hour a day.
Even though sleep feels good, I think you need more intense rest and pampering and time to think. Sleep is good but you can't do it all day, so try to find some self-care things you can do while awake- anything you love to do.
Renee,
Nice to see you, but I'm sorry it had to be under these circumstances.
You know you need to go to the hospital, so go. When I went I was on ativan and they continued to let me have it PRN. So I wouldn't worry about them taking away your xanax. Just make sure you tell them when you give them your list of meds.
Hang in there and keep us updated.