Arrogant people

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Arrogant people
9
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 3:48pm

I am in a terrible frame of mind today. I need to stop going to the job seekers support group. The CL and some of the old members are really nice, but there are a few know it alls lately that think just becuase they have a great job no one else should complain and if they can't get a good job it's their own fault.

People can be so rude and full of themselves on other boards, they think they are perfect and get on their high horse about everything. It took all my self control not to lash out at the latest know it alls.

I resolved to stop visiting other Ivillage boards except this one.

Has anyone else had this problem?

There is a way to give advice kindly and not like you are superior. Please tell me I'm never like them, because I can't stand them...

There was one b(*&$ a few weeks ago who said I had an "interesting opinion," which was her catty way of attempting to be subtle, and then put my "Interesting opinions" down like she thought I was an idiot. And then she proceeded to gush about how great she is and how great her job is and how she got it because she's just so amazing, and I bet the only amazing thing about her is her ego.

I just hate arrogant people with huge egos who will crush someone else's feelings when they're down just so they can feel superior and smug for one more minute...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: bluerains
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 5:39pm

Hi Blue,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: bluerains
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 6:22pm

Lori,

Thanks. I'm not going to complain, I"m just going to stop going there. It's all so subtle- they act like they're trying to help, but hearing how amazing and great they are and how wonderful their career is does NOT help me.

Comments like:
(This is not an exact quote by the way, I'm being sarcastic)

"If all you do in your job search is sit on your but in front of the internet, you'll always be stuck in your dead end job. I network with CEOs and I"m an expert in Chinese, which I taught myself, and by the way I"m also attractive and in great shape, blah blah blah. Oh, you make $9/hour? I make $16/hour, I guess it's because my amazing portfolio simply speaks for itself! You too can be perfect like me, which you aren't now, poor thing, sitting on your but all day feeling sorry for yourself, but listen to me and you'll be fine". (This is not an exact quote, again. But it's how their "advice" feels to me.)

If they're so perfect, then why are they even on the support board?

By the way, if I EVER come across like that, I'm so sorry. I know I give advice a lot too, but I try to be kind and I know I'm not perfect and I don't have the magic answers. A little compassion goes a long way!




Edited 6/15/2006 6:32 pm ET by bluerains
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
In reply to: bluerains
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 3:41pm

bluerains, it is a testament to your character that you can see this and not give them what they really deserve. We both know that eventually, these things turn around on them in time.
In the meantime, you strengthen your character. You can defend yourself, just don't stoop below their level. That will give you the satisfaction and it drives egomaniacs who need the last word, absolutely nuts.

beta

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: bluerains
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 9:58am

Thank you Betawolfe.

The problem is it does get to me because I do feel terrible that I can't get a decent job.

I erased all the other boards from my favorites except this one- I'm just too sensitive for online groups and anyway I was wasting too much time there.

Now if they want to brag to each other I hope it's fun because I'm out of there.

I do miss the CL and some of the nicer members but the preachers were too much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: bluerains
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 2:09am

I'm sorry, Bluerains...I know how hard it is...even when we know someone else is being arrogant or just plain mean, it's still hard not to take their comments to heart at least a little...that's how it is for me, anyway. You're a great, caring person, and you don't deserve to be brought down by others like that...I'm glad you got away from their negativity, although I'm sorry that will mean missing out on the nice people there.

Please do feel free to post here whenever you want...I know I'm not around all the time, but I would be more than happy to listen, and I'm sure the others here would be too. You have been a great help to me already, so remember that no matter what your "official" job title says, you are a wonderful person with a lot to give! :)




Edited 6/24/2006 2:11 am ET by rosa444
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: bluerains
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 1:00pm

Thank you Rose, that means a lot.

It's interesting, most people always complain non-stop about how busy they are, exhausted, stressed out, etc. Yet at the same time they look down on unemployed people and those who work part time. It's like they think we do nothing all day but watch TV, well I do a lot more.

All those things they have to put off, all those things they have no time for, that's what I do all day and I do it well. For instance, my favrite tank top ripped so I sewed it by hand and it's fine now. And I recently went to a family reunion, and I was the only one who took photos. So I decided to make reprints of the photos and send them out to my family. None of my employed relatives would have time for something like that, but I think they'll appreciate it. I do all the little things, the details, and I'm good at that. I'm NOT good at the big things, like getting a job, etc. But everyone has their weak and strong points.

Yes I was busier when I worked full time but I also work hard now. It's just a different kind of work, a domestic one, and at least my DH appreciates it.

In the meantime I do look for a job but I don't want to do it 8 hours a day like these people think I should.




Edited 6/24/2006 1:14 pm ET by bluerains
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
In reply to: bluerains
Fri, 06-30-2006 - 5:11pm

So sorry to hear that you have had some tough relations with people on the boards and in your real life.


Personally I don't get very involved in talking to people in real life, so I haven't quite had the same experience of arrogance. Online I have felt that people were trying to make me an outcast, but that may just be my messed up perception and not really their intention. Something to keep in mind.


I hope you find some non-arrogant people and instead some supportive and friendly ones.

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Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: bluerains
Wed, 07-26-2006 - 10:29am

Update:
The CL from that board (who is a great person) emailed me and told me that she and some of my friends from the board missed me. I ended up going back, and I was touched.

But, I probably do have to cut back on both boards becuase I need to spend more time on my job search. So, if I post less it's not becuase I don't care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
In reply to: bluerains
Wed, 07-26-2006 - 3:19pm

We always know you care.


Know that my thoughts will be with you as you go on that job search.

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Amanda