THE appt was NOT what I had hoped
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| Tue, 07-18-2006 - 1:32pm |
... it would be.
I don't believe it... I just don't believe it. I went to "the" appointment yesterday, and for WHAT?... Let me back up a bit. On Friday I decided to go to the ER of the psych hospital in town. I have been off of meds for a little over a month (I'm not getting into that now, I can't repeat myself!) and I thought that I could ride it out til I see the therapist on 8/16. (Mind you, NOT the therapist I REALLY want to see... ) Anyway... went to the ER in the hopes of getting an Rx for meds again. Well, they did offer me meds, but said that if they give me meds and that if yesterday's meeting with the psych would bring a different med, then... so I told the ER that I will just wait til Monday. Okay.
I drove to the appt in tears, really not wanting to go but I knew I had to. I made it. Was checking in and I was not found in the computer system. Oh nooooo, this wasn't a good sign. Finally, they "found" me.
Went upstairs, waited some more, and met with a clinician, really nice one. Turns out that I wasn't going to get MEDS TODAY, NOOOOOO, the impression was that I was going to join another IOP group. WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOO, I can't do that, that's not what I decided to do. If I could, I would, but I can't, being that Vilija has speech therapy 2x weekly and going to IOP 3x weekly isn't going to happen.
I was bawling, here I was thinking that I made this really cool move of going to this appt and would be talking to a psych, and I was so very mistaken. I cried about B, of course... and then I told the clinician that I do have an appt with M next month, and that I'm supposed to get an appt with Dr. G soon, I need to call her secretary to find out when she can get me in. So, I called the secretary from there... and found out that I cannot be scheduled with Dr. G until M calls me AFTER SHE RETURNS FROM VACATION... which would be the beginning of August. I have NO IDEA of why secretary can't just stick me into the schedule of Dr. G. Secretary doesn't know, either, of course. THEN, secretary tells me that I'm to call the place I was seen at before (the place I freaking WANT to go to period, but can't) and get in touch with the psych there. No, I cannot, they closed my file. Secretary then informs me that as of Friday, my file is still open, til M comes back.
WAVES of emotion, buckets of tears. OH NO, they aren't going to do that to me. The clinician wanted me to call the clinic, and I said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I was just bawling my head off, this was so not real. I mean, first they close my file, I'm totally finished over there, and now it's open again and I can't even talk to B?
Yesterday brought me nothing more but much more desperation, in all honesty. The appointment was a total waste of time (and money... $10 for parking). I ended up calling the pharmacy and seeing if there is still a refill left of my medication, found out that there is, so I just picked up a refill of the Celexa.
The whole day wore me out completely. I feel so... I don't know. Numb? I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to call B and cry. I have listened to his voice mail quite a few times... I need to hear his reassuring voice. I just wish that I could actuallY TALK to him.
V


That sounds sooooooo frusterating! I'm sorry you went through that all for nothing. Hopefully, next time they will listen and remember what you actually needed from the appt. That happens a lot with doctor's visits! It raises my blood pressure- and isnt' the doctor supposed to make you feel better, not worse?
I hope next time, they have it together.
Oh V., I'm sooooo sorry it went so badly for you at the appt.... I hate it when "one hand doesn't know what the other is doing!!!" But unfortunately, when dealing with "systems" it happens sometimes.
Thanks to both of you... for your kindness and understanding.
Lori, the clinician did hear me when I said that IOP is just not an option for me, and I even stated that I WOULD do it if it weren't for my daughter's speech therapy. I was told, at first, that maybe speech therapy can be held off for a while. Um, I think NOT.
I did end up calling the clinician who runs the IOP group that I went to over the winter. Lisa is awesome, I talked to her yesterday. I explained to her a little about what is happening with me, and she said by all means, IOP would be the best thing for me. I asked her if I could go 2x/weekly instead of 3x... she said that it wouldn't be a good idea, and I understood the reasoning. After a few minutes of talking to her, I told her that I can't promise anything, but I will try to play with V's speech therapy schedule on Fridays and maybe go back to her IOP group.
But then I thought about it... once school starts, the IOP will have to end, and that's not a long enough time for IOP.
Yes, I know, I'm making excuses. But I have to be realistic...
Anyway...
Vilija is doing well, her speech has improved quite a bit, it's really exciting. Andrius is doing a-okay, too, can't believe how tall he's getting. The kids are growing way too fast.
Here are some pics...
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y1/andvil/STA70726.jpg
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y1/andvil/STA70725.jpg
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y1/andvil/STA70727.jpg
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y1/andvil/STA70728.jpg
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y1/andvil/playarea.jpg
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h70/PrincessVilija/STA70730.jpg
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h70/PrincessVilija/STA70731.jpg
Yes, Vilija loves her duckies. LOL.
Your kids are so cute! And what a great duck collection!
It's not an excuse if you can't be two places at once. I didn't have a car until I was 26 and I missed a lot of things becuase I could'nt get there. But maybe someone can help you take the kids to school so you can make it to the appointments? Too bad things tend to be at the worst times, it's hard to get to them.
Hi V.,