long but worth it
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long but worth it
| Tue, 07-25-2006 - 6:55pm |
Hi you wonderful people! how has your week been like so far? I hope all is well, have been thinking a lot about you guys lately! So some good news for a change! With all this (gentle) pushing from all of you on these boards I have finally come out of self imposed isolation and have no intention to harm myself. The start happened last week, first time out of the house, then a visit with my parents last weeknd and a visit to one of the very few friends I have in this country. We don't have too much in common but this girl likes me and appreciates me and I have not felt like that for a long time. Best, we decided to go on holiday next week (still a bit scared if I am ready to spend 24/7 around people but it sure beats sitting locked up thinking of ways to check out - not funny yet? well, at least I am trying) So we were going to go to Portugal or Spain but it is all booked so we are going to nearby greece on a boat so it should be fun and may be what the doctor ordered) Also, Peter guy got in touch, again, and left an ambiguous message, again, asking where he can get more info to comprehend better what happens to a rape victim, nothing more than that. I still hurt when I think of the way we were and the way we are but saving my own skin is what matters right now so i am not holding my breath. right now it doesn't hurt so much, maybe in the future it will sink in and hurt more and that's where I might be coming sobbing for support once again but till then I hope I will enjoy a bit of peace. I will try at least!!!
So, please give me your news. Blue, what have you been up to? Any news from the friend? are you calm and happy? What is going on with you?
Lori! You keep doing a fantastic job over here like usually. You should be proud! Just so you know, I am working out the courage to post on a rather delicate matter (you know already) some time. Gee, I have shared so much with you guys!
Just know that I am around and that I am thinking of both of you and praying that all these people stuck in such awful situation will find peace. I know I am not out of the woods yet, long way to go. Mood is better but overall situation still sucks. Might relapse and come for rescue once (or more times) again. Just one day at a time
Take care beautiful people!
Will write some more tomorrow and remember that whenever possible, I am also here for anyone of you that needs support. I should know the difference it can make.
Love
Rosaura
So, please give me your news. Blue, what have you been up to? Any news from the friend? are you calm and happy? What is going on with you?
Lori! You keep doing a fantastic job over here like usually. You should be proud! Just so you know, I am working out the courage to post on a rather delicate matter (you know already) some time. Gee, I have shared so much with you guys!
Just know that I am around and that I am thinking of both of you and praying that all these people stuck in such awful situation will find peace. I know I am not out of the woods yet, long way to go. Mood is better but overall situation still sucks. Might relapse and come for rescue once (or more times) again. Just one day at a time
Take care beautiful people!
Will write some more tomorrow and remember that whenever possible, I am also here for anyone of you that needs support. I should know the difference it can make.
Love
Rosaura

Dear Rosaura,
Greece? That sounds like the experience of a lifetime! And I agree with Lori (and was going to say the same thing), you'll get so many gorgeous photos! Of course for safety sake, you probably don't want to post a photo of yourself but I would also love to see any landscape photos you take.
Good for you to have the initiative to plan this! Travel is one of my favorite things to do too.
I've been OK lately- I wrote a lot more in another post- but really disappointed that my ex-best friend still didn't call me back. It's obvious she's waiting for me to call her. And I can't help but compare it to how, when her bf and her had a fight, she was calling and emailing him every day. But the first fight we ever have, sudden radio silence! So, this bf that she complains about non-stop is worth daily effort, and I'm not worth one try in a whole month? I can't believe her.
I'm glad Peter is trying to understand how you feel! That's pretty unusual for the typical guy. While I think you're right to be cautious, I also think he does care, no matter what comes of it or even if nothing does.
Have a wonderful time in Greece, I can't wait to hear about it!
Now, Lori, about the pictures, I would have absolutely no problem sharing pictures of greece with you guys. I am a keen photographer and reckon pretty good so I like to show off once in a while. When I get back I'll work out how to do that (afraid not so good with the computer). Greece is not too different (speaking of mentality) from where I am but it is certainly gorgeous. I am glad I am going. I mean I know Peter surprised me by showing an interest into what happened to me and how he can figure me out better (I mean not understanding why I freaked out on a particular occasion is what caused the whole thing to snowball) but he still doesn't GET it! I need him to meet me half way and he is being so ambiguous he pushes me away! I have no use for this ambiguity, does me no good at all! I really missed the time when things were not complicated between us. I was balanced, felt secure and safe! Anyway, I know this thing will hit me eventually I think being on a trip will give me time to take my mind of him, give us both time (although I am sure it is over between us) to see things more clearly. It is for the best.
And Blue, I will be writing more about your friend in a little bit. It is getting too hot and I need to take a long shower before I can concentrate.
Love you guys both
Talk to you soon
Rosaura
PS Lori, this book you were talking about, what is it about? sounds interesting!
Wow, you've got some great skills there! Have you considered moving somewhere else, is that possible for you?
It sounds like Peter is moving very cautiously so as not to get hurt or not to hurt you. But in the process it's very frusterating if you are ready to talk and he's not. (Why does this sound familiar? What is wrong with people?) Waiting is very hard, as I know. It's hard when people have different relationship styles and different ways of processing emotions and events. But, I hope that eventually he will be ready for a real talk!
Hi Rosaura,
I look forward to reading your book when it gets published, Lori. (I know you're only on Chapter Two, but I'm sure you'll finish it in time.)
I actually started a fantasy book and also stopped after I think four chapters. I lost the inspiration and started thinking the book was awful. I still have it though, it takes a lot of motivation to write a book, doesn't it?
Hi Blue,
"It doesn't help that I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to my writing. I bet I re-wrote Chapter 1 at LEAST 4 times before it was "perfect" and I was able to move on to Chapter 2."
Hmmm, I have that problem! First I wrote chapter one in the third person. Then I decided it would be better in the first person, and I rewrote the whole thing and also changed key events. So now that I have four chapters, I'm starting to think that first person is not too great for a fantasy book, and maybe I should rewrite the whole thing- and change it back to the third person! And while I'm at it, I think I need to change a lot of the ideas and events again!
Probably you already know this but just in case:
First person is when you say, "I went to the store." You tell a story as if it happened to you. (Autobiographies are first person by default.) Third person is when you say, "BlueRains went to the store." You tell the story as if it happened to someone else, and you're the narrator. I'm just not sure which would be easier for a reader, and which would make for a better fantasy book! What do you think, anyone can give me advice on this.
Edited 7/28/2006 1:27 pm ET by bluerains
Blue, I did not know you write too! Well done you guys, it is so good being creative. I also write but it is mainly scientific articles on my profession. One day I want to write too so who knows maybe we will all become published one day!
So, I will continue with my packing right now, maybe I will be back to check the board later on. I really need to be getting away right now!
I will be thinking of both of you.
Till later
Hugs!!!!
Rosaura