Just need someone to listen

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Just need someone to listen
2
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 9:58pm

I came close to blowing my brains out today. Worse part is my partner told me she'ld even do it for me. If it wasn't for my DD and grandsons I would have done it. I don't feel as if i want to live anymore. I'm 56 and my life has not been an easy one. I live with a partner that in her heart loves someone more then me. I have no income but do receive help from our mental health center. I'm afraid to tell my therapist because I can't go through the nut house again I'ld rather be dead then to do that. Just needed someone that may understand to listen I don't really expect any replies. Prayers would be nice though.

Kywomyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 11:33pm

Hi Kywomyn and welcome to the board! I am sorry things are so hard for you right now and I will definitely remember you in my prayers as you asked!


Your post is so heartwrenching on several different levels. The obvious---feeling suicidal but also in your statement that you do not expect replies. You deserve to expect MUCH more than replies in your life and it saddens me to see that you are so beaten down!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 12:59pm

Hi Kywomyn,

It's very disturbing that your partner said she would kill you...
Maybe it's hypocritical, but I think that murder is a lot different (and more "wrong") than suicide. I don't think you are safe emotionally or physically living with someone like that.

Anyone would feel terrible knowing their partner loves someone else. I won't tell you what to do, but I think that situation is unhealthy for both of you. If you feel like sharing, have you ever considered breaking up? Then you'd be free to find someone who loves you and cares about you.