Not sure what I'm thinking or feeling...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Not sure what I'm thinking or feeling...
3
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 12:36pm
Is it normal to feel like giving up or hide from the world? I am afraid to admit that these thoughts maybe suicidal. I'm on medication for depression and have been going to counseling but I don't see an improvement, in fact things seem worse. All I want to do is sleep but I can't. I manage to go to work but I'm having a hard time coping and getting through the day. I have always been quiet but I seem to be withdrawing myself from everyone and everything. My Dr. thinks things are getting better just because I'm not crying as much. I feel that feeling this way is a choice (it's all my fault) and that all I need to do is think more positive thoughts. The rational part of me doesn't want to die but then when I look at my life I don't see the point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 12:49pm

I stopped crying a few years ago, not becuase things got better but because something won't let me. Actually, I think it's a sign that life hurts so much you can't even cry.

Your feelings are normal, and not your fault. You are right to be concerned. But it's not your fault DK.

Did anything happen to trigger this, what do you think started it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 1:26pm
I believe I have suffered from depression on and off all my life. This time it happened because I divorced my husband (was final 2 months ago). There was some minor abuse involved and there is some denial about that. I went through alot during the divorce and I tried to stay strong but now I am just emotionally and physically drained. Last week my X has came to the house 4 times(he is not suppose to have contact w/me till Jan 2007)but it's almost like I didn't care so I didn't report his violations. It feel like I am throwing away everything I learned down the drain and I'm letting him get to me again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 5:16pm

Hi dkm and welcome to the board--although, I'm sorry you are feeling so badly as to need it!


You are exhibiting some classic signs of depression and so I am very glad to hear you are seeing a therapist and on medication. The wanting to withdraw, sleep disturbances, trouble getting through the day and ESP. the thoughts of suicide are clear indicators that something is wrong and I think you really do need to make it clear to your Dr. that just because you aren't crying, doesn't mean you aren't hurting very badly! There are times (as Blue pointed out) when the pain is too great--tears don't do it anymore. And I'm concerned you may be at that point and so you've "moved on" to suicide. Please know that is NOT the answer!!


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