Not sure what I'm thinking or feeling...
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Not sure what I'm thinking or feeling...
| Tue, 08-01-2006 - 12:36pm |
Is it normal to feel like giving up or hide from the world? I am afraid to admit that these thoughts maybe suicidal. I'm on medication for depression and have been going to counseling but I don't see an improvement, in fact things seem worse. All I want to do is sleep but I can't. I manage to go to work but I'm having a hard time coping and getting through the day. I have always been quiet but I seem to be withdrawing myself from everyone and everything. My Dr. thinks things are getting better just because I'm not crying as much. I feel that feeling this way is a choice (it's all my fault) and that all I need to do is think more positive thoughts. The rational part of me doesn't want to die but then when I look at my life I don't see the point.

I stopped crying a few years ago, not becuase things got better but because something won't let me. Actually, I think it's a sign that life hurts so much you can't even cry.
Your feelings are normal, and not your fault. You are right to be concerned. But it's not your fault DK.
Did anything happen to trigger this, what do you think started it?
Hi dkm and welcome to the board--although, I'm sorry you are feeling so badly as to need it!
You are exhibiting some classic signs of depression and so I am very glad to hear you are seeing a therapist and on medication. The wanting to withdraw, sleep disturbances, trouble getting through the day and ESP. the thoughts of suicide are clear indicators that something is wrong and I think you really do need to make it clear to your Dr. that just because you aren't crying, doesn't mean you aren't hurting very badly! There are times (as Blue pointed out) when the pain is too great--tears don't do it anymore. And I'm concerned you may be at that point and so you've "moved on" to suicide. Please know that is NOT the answer!!