MY SON! I AM A FAILURE

Avatar for careyfeel
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
MY SON! I AM A FAILURE
1
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 6:44pm
My son jusr had a very hurtful experience at his Grad School and is not going to return there.He is deeply depressed and suicidal.However, he says that he will not commit suicide now ,but later(like September).We are going to admit him to a ental health hospital on Monday.
I have been depressed most of my life. I have ben suicidal often and a few times made half attempts at suicide. I was in a mental health center and a day hospital last year.I am on at least 5 differnet medication for my mental health.Because I was both physically and emotionally sick so often during my son's life I think I have caused him to be sick.Essentially I am a failure as a Mother. If my son commits suicide I know I will too.Im fact I am thinking of ways we can die together. I am a SI and all I want to do is SI and "punish" myself for what I have done to him.Thanks for listening.carey
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sat, 08-05-2006 - 9:24pm

Hi Carey and welcome (I believe you may have posted here before but not sure?)


I am sorry you and your son are hurting so badly right now....but I in no way think that your son's depression and suicidality are your fault! Depression (as you probably know) can have a hereditary component, but it can also be brought on by situational crises which it sounds like your son is experiencing. Forgive me but I don't think it matters right now who or what "caused" the depression in EITHER of you--what matters is staying safe and getting the necessary treatment to achieve stability and feel better again!


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket