Someone please talk to me
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Someone please talk to me
| Tue, 08-08-2006 - 2:06pm |
Hello. I really need someone to talk to. I've never felt this depressed in my entire life. I'm sure it will sound stupid to anyone who reads this, but I've been having an on-going mysterious health problem for over 15 months and it is making me feel like I'd rather be dead. Forgive me for spending so much time on the symptoms, but I think it's important so that you can understand why I feel so lost.
For the past 15 months I have been suffering from chronic pressure deep behind my eyes. It is a tight, pulling feeling that seems to be directly connected to my eye muscles. Sometimes it goes across my cheek bones, through my right jaw joint and down into the back of my neck on the right side. In addition, I often get an odd sensation (this is very tough to describe) which is kind of a combination of itching, tingling, and tickling in this same region (deep behind my eyes, etc) That sensation gets worse when I look up at the daytime sky while outdoors, but not when I look up at indoor lighting. The worst part of all of this is the way it affects my balance. It makes me feel "off balance" nearly all the time. Often I feel as though I am going to fall to one side...or the room is about to start spinning...although the spinning really doesn't happen. I mostly just feel like a bobble-head doll. I've had some of these symptoms sporadically and mildly for the past 8 years or so. However, in May 2005 all the symptoms suddenly worsened and a few new ones developed. I should mention that I am a 33 year old female. Lifetime non-drinker, non-smoker. Health food and exercise are a huge part of my life.
What makes me feel so lost and desperate is that I am phobic about dizziness and vomiting. I've even seen a therapist about it, but she really didn't help much. I've been to several doctors, a neurologist, and a chiropractor (who I still see weekly). No one seems to think there is anything seriously wrong with me other than anxiety, but I don't agree. I think I could have a brain tumor and I feel like I would rather die now than go through having something like that. I don't have insurance and I'm not wealthy so my options are very limited. I've thought about getting an mri (one doctor said she would order it if I wanted it), but I cannot afford it and honestly, I'm afraid of what they will find. I just don't know what to do. All I do is cry and my entire life is falling apart. Could someone please talk to me?
For the past 15 months I have been suffering from chronic pressure deep behind my eyes. It is a tight, pulling feeling that seems to be directly connected to my eye muscles. Sometimes it goes across my cheek bones, through my right jaw joint and down into the back of my neck on the right side. In addition, I often get an odd sensation (this is very tough to describe) which is kind of a combination of itching, tingling, and tickling in this same region (deep behind my eyes, etc) That sensation gets worse when I look up at the daytime sky while outdoors, but not when I look up at indoor lighting. The worst part of all of this is the way it affects my balance. It makes me feel "off balance" nearly all the time. Often I feel as though I am going to fall to one side...or the room is about to start spinning...although the spinning really doesn't happen. I mostly just feel like a bobble-head doll. I've had some of these symptoms sporadically and mildly for the past 8 years or so. However, in May 2005 all the symptoms suddenly worsened and a few new ones developed. I should mention that I am a 33 year old female. Lifetime non-drinker, non-smoker. Health food and exercise are a huge part of my life.
What makes me feel so lost and desperate is that I am phobic about dizziness and vomiting. I've even seen a therapist about it, but she really didn't help much. I've been to several doctors, a neurologist, and a chiropractor (who I still see weekly). No one seems to think there is anything seriously wrong with me other than anxiety, but I don't agree. I think I could have a brain tumor and I feel like I would rather die now than go through having something like that. I don't have insurance and I'm not wealthy so my options are very limited. I've thought about getting an mri (one doctor said she would order it if I wanted it), but I cannot afford it and honestly, I'm afraid of what they will find. I just don't know what to do. All I do is cry and my entire life is falling apart. Could someone please talk to me?

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Hi Keli,
Thank you so much for your reply. I saw an eye doctor today. First time I've ever seen one in my whole life. He did a really thorough examination and said that I just need a mild prescription. My new glasses are just for slight problems with seeing at a distance. Otherwise, my vision is 20/20 and the overall health of my eyes is great. He said that the results from 2 of the many tests he performed (peripheral vision test and images of the optic nerve) showed that there are no tumors in that area of my brain. He also said that most people he has seen who suffer from MS usually don't pass the peripheral vision test with flying colors like I did. He did mention, however, that MS has a broad range of symptoms and can affect people in many different ways. Although I'm not out of the woods for serious things like tumors and MS, at least I'm a step closer to being in the clear.
May I ask, when you were diagnosed with MS did they do an mri? If not, how do they know for sure you have it? How are they treating it? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I know these questions are very personal. I saw a neuro about 2 months after my symptoms became chronic (June 2005) and she did about 45 minutes worth of in-office testing. She said she did not see any signs of MS or brain tumors and she didn't think I needed an mri. I think I'm going to try to get the brain mri done soon, though. I don't know how I will do it, but I would like to try. I'm still really scared, but I'm gonna try to take things one step at a time. I'm also going to look into other types of alternative medicine and relaxation therapy. Thanks again for taking the time to post. It really helped.
Thank you for your reply. I do get migraines, usually 1 per month. Unfortunately, my symptoms are chronic, 24/7. I wish it were just from migraines, but I think there's more going on than that. Thanks again for your input, though.
eegads2003
I read your post with sympathy because I've had similar situations where I had sever symptoms but didn't know what they were. I also had weird vision problems that the eye doctor couldn't find a cause for, one specialist even said something like he was making a "crock diagnosis" and when I asked him what he meant he said something about he was thinking my symptoms were a "crock". I was already so upset about my symptoms and worrying about them that I only let him make me feel bad instead of getting mad and reporting him to someone.
Then I had the General Practioner who said just before she walked out the door to leave, "Huh, could be MS" and then walked away! Again I was so upset I let her go without running her down and making her expain herself further. I just left, scared and in shock.
I lived with these fears and anxieties for a long time, too scared now to go any further because I was more afraid of what it COULD be than living with the symptoms.
Eventually, another doctor came into my life that was so patient and understanding and took lots of time to find out all about me, took me seriously, and explained everything she wanted to try and test and why. During a routine physical, it turned out my blood sugar was high and I had mild Type II diabetes. Not bad enough to have the "regular" signs of being a diabetic without testing for it, but enough to screw around with my vision and give me problems like sometimes I would go to the eye doctor and my vision was fine then the next time they said I needed a much stronger presciption, then the next time it was better. One day I could read street signs and the next I couldn't and then I could read them again. This back and forth with my vision was one of the things that had suggested MS in the first place. It wasn't too bad, I had to take some pills for a while but then I worked on some lifestyle changes and now can control it with diet and exercise.
So, what I want to say to you is this:
1) not knowing is terrible and can cause so much stress that the stress can make its own symptoms. So whatever your problem may be, it may just be a simple one and its the stress added symptoms that are making it seem like it must be something big and awful.
2) Just because someone went to medical school, doesn't mean they are a good doctor and even good doctors don't always get it right. If you aren't getting any answers, keep asking and asking until you get someone who can help you.
3) I don't know what kind of city you live in or what's available to you, but financial concerns shouldn't keep you from finding appropriate help. It might take a lot of work and phone calls and asking lots and lots of people but there are probably a lot of resources out there to help someone needing medical attention without a lot of financial means. It may not be easy but it is worth putting a lot of work into to check out. Start with the phone book and look up social services offices in your area and even though they probably wont handle that kind of thing, they may be able to point you in the right direction to continue your search.
Good luck
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