I made it through

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2006
I made it through
2
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 12:27pm
My little girl (3 yrs) claps for herself over some of the smallest accomplishments. It's funny to see her - she is so proud of herself, and I am proud for her. That's kind of how I feel this morning. I made it through the night. Yay me! Sometimes I feel so up and down. I'm riding this giant roller coaster, and as soon as I make that slow climb to the top I know there will be a swift, scary drop. I have just come to expect that the bad follows the good. But on the plus side, the good follows the bad, too. Yesterday was a trying day at work, but I didn't let it get to me. I had a good evening with friends and my kids. Then kerplunk . . . I sent my ex a text message to remind him of something he said he would do for me, and he let me know that he had "company". In other words, can't talk right now because I have a woman here with me. In OUR house. The one that I spent weeks stripping wallpaper and painting and picking out flooring and months decorating and making OUR HOME. The night started closing in. I could feel the ache and the panic. Logic tells me not to let him have that control over me. He's not trying to be mean and hurt me. I know he's not. But it does hurt none the less. If I were to hurt myself because of what he's doing then I'm giving him the power to run my life. I have decided to take back the power (at least for now I've decided lol). I have started keeping a journal. I think it makes me feel better to pour out my thoughts and feelings. And when I read over my entries with a clearer head I can see things about myself that I need to see - things I need to handle or fix or celebrate. And today I celebrate having made it through a painful situation and finding the strength to wake up this morning. Thank you for letting me get this out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 12:40pm

Good for you! You did it... and you should be proud.

It also occurs to me that "company" could mean his brother, a co-worker, a Jehovah's Witness, or who knows, the plumber! It doesn't necessarily mean anything painful... but you handled it well no matter what he meant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 1:10pm

Hi there,


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