Never happy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Never happy?
5
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 3:06pm

OK! I now realize I am never happy. I am not happy with my current part time job. But whenever I get an opportunity, I get scared to death and anxiety just explodes!

Update: I have an interview. I don't know how becuase when she called I was so nervous I just babbled, really badly. I felt pretty ashamed when she asked about what I did during the gap in my resume. I said "focus on family" but that probably makes them think I have kids. How do you explain a gap in the resume? I could not get a job, so I went into a major depression and anxiety episode, and I had no car... that is the truth. But that sounds bad.

I am really scared becuase the more I think about it the more I think the job is over my head. I will just be totally honest at the interview. I am sure I can do the job with training but there are some things I would need either training or enough time to self teach, like Outlook and HTML.

I'm just so scared.

What scares me the most is the thought of, what if I get a job and then am bad at it? The more I talk about myself when they ask me interview questions, the more I realize I'm pathetic and should just stick with manual labor or something...

I know the depression and anxiety are coming up again and trying to sabotauge me. I don't know if I can ever function as a normal person again... I will be fine as long as I stick to a routine and then I try to improve myself or make any change in my routine and "Wham!" my anxiety goes through the roof. I really feel like I"m going to pass out at any moment, it's bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: bluerains
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 4:22pm

Hi Blue,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2006
In reply to: bluerains
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 6:38pm

Bluerains

So many people have gaps in their resumes now. Go to msn.com and at the top where you see all the little catagories, click on "careers and jobs". They have TONS of great articles, (use the search feature to search the archives). I KNOW they have info on how to explain gaps in your resume because I've read them before. They cover all kinds of things about interviews and everything else relating to job searches to interviews to things after you get the job. I think if you read this it will give you info to answer a lot of your questions and hopefully calm your anxieties and give you confindence going into the interview.

Also, remember, every job has a learning curve. I didn't know anything about the field I am currently in, I didn't even really know why they hired me. It was hard at first because I didn't know what I was doing but I've now been in this field for 10yrs and wonder how and when I learned all this stuff.

Good Luck!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
In reply to: bluerains
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 12:03pm

Lori and Rabbitmarie,

I am worried that what if I get the job and either I'm bad at it or hate it for some reason? I guess even though I hate working part time I'm also used to it and dont' know if I can work 40 hours a week.

I had also applied for another library job, and the closing date for applications was Aug. 18 for the library job. So I hope to hear from them too because I think I'd prefer it- I at least want to interview for it. The library job is 25 hours per week, a 30 minute commute, and a mix of admin work and library work. I think it would be good and also I might be able to keep my current job if I could work out the hours.

Lori, the interview for this computer job is Tuesday.

Of course, I'm jumping ahead... change just scares me so much.

The other thing is this: our lease is up the end of Nov. and I hate this area and want to move. If I got this job then quit in Nov. would I look really bad as a job hopper, and is that unethical? I do feel bad but I do need money in the meantime and I hate this area so I do want to go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: bluerains
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 2:08pm

Hi Blue,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2006
In reply to: bluerains
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 4:18pm

I accidently posted as RabbitMarie (my old email name for talking about different topics). RabbitMarie is also Leftovergirl. Sorry for the confusion.

Okay, I hope this makes you feel better and not worse, try to see the positives as the relate to your question.

When I first took my job, it was only because I hated my old job so much I would have taken anything to get out. I had only planned on keeping it for three months until I found something I really wanted.

When I started I had no idea what I was doing and had to learn everything from square one but was expected to do all the work from the beginning. I was terrible at it. I had a supervisor that hated me (I truley believe she was bi-polar and serious mental/emotional problems. She made my work day hell. Every day I went to lunch and had to talk myself into going back. My goal every day was to make it to the end of the day and get to the parking garage before I started crying.

So I decided that they could fire me if they wanted to but I wasn't going to quit a failure. I would work at it until I got it down and then I could quit and not feel like a quitter. As I figured things out and started getting better at it, I didn't hate it so much. And the person who made me miserable every day got transferred. I guess I did okay because I eventually got promoted. I'm still working here 10 yrs later.

(Why I'm still here after 10 years and haven't been able to move on is for another post)
But what I'm trying to say is this:

Most jobs suck at first, even if its the one you want.
Most jobs take some time to learn everything.
Some things that you hate about it work out on their own (bye bye nasty supervisor)

If you get the job, focus on each day at a time, and don't worry about what will happen in three months. By then you never know what else may change.

And as for ethics, I've been around the corporate world long enough to know that your company is not going to be thinking about your well-being or house payment when the bottom line says they need to cut jobs or not give bonuses or raises. I wouldn't lie on a resume or do dis-honest things or anything like that, but taking a job that you may not keep? Don't even worry about that.




Edited 8/17/2006 4:21 pm ET by leftovergirl