cant do this nymore.. trigs becareful
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cant do this nymore.. trigs becareful
| Wed, 08-23-2006 - 11:24am |
I have been trying to deal with this stupid depression and I am have been trying to do it on my own. At bed time all I think about is ways to end it and when I can do it. I am tired of being depressed and fat I am tired of always having to put on a happy face in order for ppl around me not to worry about me. the only reason I am here today is bc my dd is baby sitting and I cant get out of the house today. I dont want to do this anymore I am tired of fighting to live, I am tired of taking medicine when it doesnt help.

I hear you on that, life is hard and life is LONG. I never understand it when I hear people say, "Life is short." I think, "In what universe? Because I'm only 27 but I feel like I've lived for two hundred years already and I'm tired of it.
But I do remember a few posts that you wrote when you were happy. I hope you can hold on to those times but if you can't do it for yourself try to do it for your family who loves you.
You don't have to pretend or do it yourself either. It's such a hard struggle to do that.
Hi Mary,
I do have to put on a happy face for my family so then they dont worry about me bc I dont want them to worry about me at all.
Hey Mary,
Hope you are feeling better, with at least some reasons to think about ... I feel like your post and the other posts are kind of shedding a little bit of light on why I was restricting my food and losing weight for the past 6 months, and having these suicidal thoughts, this all came about after I talked to my therapist about my SA episode which I hadn't talked about for many years. Compared to other people's mine was trivial but it was unusual because there were other kids watching so it impacted me a lot. Anyway thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts and I truly hope that you can feel better as time passes, I can only offer my support.
allie
Hey Allie,
Lori,
(Possible triggers)
That story about Tracie was really touching and sad. How old was Tracie when she died? It reminds me of my friend and former roomate, Natalie, who was the kindest, most beautiful girl and died at age 23. (She got hit by a drunk driver.) I'm glad you got your sign from Tracie. I bet you were thinking about her so much becuase you sensed her presence- perhaps she was checking up on you.