Remind me again why I am alive

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Remind me again why I am alive
27
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 1:42pm
I wish it would all end...
I have been dealing with migraines. Just got out of the hospital for migraines and fainting. They can't find anything wrong with me. and I am at my wits end I just want it all to end.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 1:05pm

Hi and welcome to the board... I'm glad you reached out--we have a great bunch of ladies here that are very supportive of one another!


Can I ask you something? (As I always say, my questions can just be "food for thought"--no need to answer if you aren't comfortable doing so!) I know that obviously you want the pain to end....but do you realize that is

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 2:06pm
I have a boss I can not stand however I make great money and if I left I could not find a job making this kind of money.
I am a bit over weight 30#
I just have a hard time dealing with all these life changes.
The not being allowed to drive is killing me.
Yes I know the difference is being well or sick and death. I right now have nothing to live for everone keeps telling me about how I will hurt my family. Well if that is all my death will effect then so be it. But what about the suffering I am going thru.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 6:57pm

Hi there,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 9:58pm

Life is worth living no matter how tough things get. I went through similar things that you are experiencing. I was forced out of a job I loved; I have weight issues; I've been dealing on and off with some serious health problems; some relationship problems; major depression,etc. The people on this board are wonderfully supportive and caring. I found this board when I was in full blown crisis mode. They talked me back from the ledge. Suicide is a totally selfish act. I made an attempt as well as others on this board. What forced me to go to the hospital was looking at the pictures of my son on the wall and looking at my cat and wondering what would happen to them if I died. My son would go to foster care and my cat, who's very elderly, would die from lonliness. No matter how bad today seems, you get another chance tomorrow. If you die, there are no more chances. When I attempted suicide last year, I made a vow to my family that I would never do it again, no matter how bad things seem. Yes, I have thought about killing myself, but I always find a thread, no matter how thin, to hold onto. The older you get, the harder life changes are to cope with. As for your health problems, Lori was right. You keep finding a doctor until one can give you a definitive answer as to what's causing your migraines. It could be something as simple as a food allergy. You have a family and that's something to live for. When I attempted, do you know it broke both my mom's heart and my BF's heart. I kept imagining how devastating it would have been for my son, my mom, and my BF if I had actually died. It would be the same for your family. If life gives you nothing else, it gives you tomorrow and the day after. You just have to find something to hang on to. Please call a crisis line or go to the emergency room. No one will judge you there and will give you the help you need. I'm sending my thoughts out to you.

Jennie

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 1:11pm

Hi Jennie,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
Fri, 09-08-2006 - 7:07pm
No problem at all Lori. What you said makes a lot of sense. You and the others on this board gave me a lot of support when I was in full blown crisis mode. I've made it through another week because of you and the board. It made me feel better to talk to someone who was in more pain that I was in. It took away a lot of the feelings of uselessness I was feeling. We all have a lot to share and I've learned a lot from reading the posts.
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 12:27pm

Jennie

Thank you - Thank you - Thank you
I was touched by your post
Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 1:40pm

I'm glad I could help. How are you doing today? I'm hoping you are doing better and have been sending all my thoughts out to you. Just hang in there and be good to yourself.

Jennie

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2006
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 2:14pm
I keep telling myself that if my biggest fear is my boss then that is something I can change. It certainly is not worth my health, life and stress to work here even it the money is good. But money doesn't buy happiness.
Last X-mas on 22 of Dec my boss called a reamed me out and that ruined my whole holiday in my new house. I am not going to let her do that again and I am not going to let her treat me like dirt.
My DH said go to work with a I don't care additude and that is was I am thinking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 3:52pm
It's easier said than done to go to work with an I don't care attitude, especially if it's a job you like and really care about and if your boss is on your back all the time. I walked away from a job making good money and that I absolutely loved because of a bad boss who felt popularity with the males in the office was more important than keeping a good employee. I know it's hard to do, but have you tried talking to your boss or someone from human resources about your situation? Your boss has no right to treat you badly. I worked as a supervisor at a previous job and there are ways to talk to people about work problems or whatever without making them feel bad. Your boss sounds exactly like the one I had.
 

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