Soooo sad after therapy session ...

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Soooo sad after therapy session ...
7
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 9:11pm
I e


Edited 9/12/2009 1:43 pm ET by alsmith32
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Registered: 08-23-2006
Thu, 09-07-2006 - 9:42pm

The thing about couple's therapy is that if any part of the couple has issues (depression, grief, suicidal thoughts, anger,substance abuse,etc.), those issues have to be worked on first in order for couple's therapy to be effective. If you are in couple's therapy, the therapist isn't going to work on individual issues such as your depression. The therapist is going to work on the couple as a single unit. Couple's therapy almost always fails if individual issues aren't first addressed. Is there anyway you can postpone going to therapy with your husband (if you don't mind me asking)? Also, a good therapist will tell you this and maybe you don't have a good therapist. I used to work in the social services field working with family violence cases and all the therapists I've worked with won't even see a couple until individual issues are dealt with. I think you should see a therapist about your depression and suicidal thoughts first and then work on couple's therapy. The most important thing is to take care of yourself. Once you are taken care of, then I think you will better be able to deal with your marital issues in couples therapy. If you'd like to talk Allie, please send me an email through my profile. Sending my thoughts out to you and your family.

Jennie

 
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Fri, 09-08-2006 - 9:26am
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Edited 9/12/2009 1:43 pm ET by alsmith32
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Fri, 09-08-2006 - 1:28pm

Hey Allie,


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Registered: 08-23-2006
Sat, 09-09-2006 - 9:46pm

I know with my depression,I have a recurring set of throughts that play over and over in my mind, as well as a great deal of negative self talk. When I have the negative thoughts and negative self talk, I have a difficult time seeing positive things the way they should be seen and the negative things stand out the most and seem even worse than what they actually are. I remember when I went through grief counseling when my father died, I had a very difficult time expressing all the things going on in my head verbally, so she had me keep a journal. I find for me it's easier to express my thoughts and feelings in writing than to verbally express them. Perhaps the therapist you are seeing just doesn't realize the extent of your depression. Have you thought of seeking out a second therapist just for your depression? It sounds to me that your therapist now seems to think that the marital problems you are experiencing right now are a result of your dwelling on negative things and not depression. You know and I know, with depression, it's hard to see the positive sometimes. I didn't mean to imply that you were going through domestic violence issues and I hope you don't think I was thinking that. I'm just thinking if you take care of your depression first, then marriage counseling will be much easier for you and your husband. It is very sad and frustrating for you when someone who is supposed to be helping you doesn't get the full picture of what's going on with you. Are you able to call her before your next session and talk to her about the issues you are having? It may really clarify things before you see her again with your husband. I'm sending my thoughts out to you and hoping some of your sadness lifts.

Jennie

 
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Registered: 08-02-2005
Mon, 09-11-2006 - 4:44pm

In couple's therapy the focus is necessarily going to be on couple's issues. You definately want to see her on your own to talk about your own issues



"I'm afraid she'll think I'm a big loser, trying to second guess her decision about when we need to come back"


She would never think you are a loser and it isn't even the case that you are second guessing her decision about when you should go back because you aren't asking for your couple's session to be moved up.


So go ahead and make the call. You deserve it.

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Amanda

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Wed, 09-20-2006 - 8:45pm
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Edited 9/12/2009 1:42 pm ET by alsmith32
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Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 10:33pm

Hi Allie,


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