Hi

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Hi
8
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 3:18pm

Hi I am new to this site but when I seen the title to this forum it drew me right in. I have been suffering from suicidal thoughts and feelings for years! I have been on medications but they didn't agree with me so at the present I am not on anything. Why is it that I have been having these feelings and thoughts for years and yet there are people who never had a thought like that in their entire lives? Are our brains different from theirs? Were we born this way or did this way of thinking develop as we grew older? It is so confusing and yet the battle goes on and on to the point you wonder if it is worth it anymore. I hope to get to know you guys.

sadeyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: sadeyesr4ever
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 6:18pm

Hi Sadeyes and welcome to the board! I am glad you found us!


You pose some interesting questions in your post.... I'm not going to pretend to have all the answers because I surely don't. What I do have is a mix of personal and professional experience dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings and my personal belief is that many, many people have these kinds of thoughts at one time or another--but a large number don't admit it. That may be due to shame, fear, stigma or other reasons.


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
In reply to: sadeyesr4ever
Tue, 09-12-2006 - 9:20pm

Thanks Lori, as I was reading your reply I think you are right about some people not admitting to having these feelings and thoughts which of course is very normal. They probably do like I am doing right now, post their feelings and thoughts on a board somewhere online but act like everything is normal in the real world.

And the answer is yes as well to your questions about my background, loss, truamas, sickness... of course that is why I feel the way I do! I have been depressed ever since I was a child so I guess to me I don't remember feeling any other way.

Actually I tried to talk to a couple of therapists. One was for my husband and I. He said my husband was just fine but wanted to see me again because of my questionaire I filled out. I didn't return to him. Another time I seen another person and she threatened to put me in a hospital. I don't take kindly to threats and I have a hard time talking about personal things, I get nervous and I'm good for running. So I am assuming I am a loss cause if I can't even talk to professionals who are there to help you.

If you have had problems in the past with personal issues and was able to get help for them, I commend you, I really do. Not too many people know how to move forward. It is also great if you found the right med combination that worked for you! That is why this board has drawn me, I know people are out there suffering or have gone through something similar and can understand and relate to other people going through difficult situations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: sadeyesr4ever
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 12:11pm

Hi there,


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
In reply to: sadeyesr4ever
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 1:00pm

**Possible Triggers**

Lori, as I read your reply, I was honestly amazed how open you were about your past, that really touched me that you would open up about the abuse that you had to endure to a total stranger to show and let me know that it was normal to act the way I do. My heart goes out to you for all you have suffered but at the same time I am in awe to how far you have come today. Thank you Lori for sharing your story with me (((hugs)))

**Trigger**
I have a question for you maybe you can answer for me. I know personally in real life 3 friends and one distant family member who have committed suicide. That is a total of 4 people in my circle that died from suicide. Is it true that if you are around people and there is a high incidence of suicides that it makes it a higher percentage of us who knew the people to suicide as well?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
In reply to: sadeyesr4ever
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 6:12pm

Hey there,


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
In reply to: sadeyesr4ever
Wed, 09-13-2006 - 9:42pm
Thanks Lori I was just curious what your thoughts were on that. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
In reply to: sadeyesr4ever
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 12:38pm

Welcome to the board sadeyes.


I'm sorry to hear that meds don't work for you.


As for your question about why we have these thoughts and others don't, I think it is probably inherent as it is a result of depression, which some people are born with a tendency towards. It is possible that society plays a role, but it's likely a small role. Still, some people are more likely to have suicidal thoughts if suicide is "popular" at the time or if they

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
In reply to: sadeyesr4ever
Thu, 09-14-2006 - 2:57pm
Thank you for the welcome and reply! One thing I have found out through the years is that I found it was helpful for me to have a "means" to end it at my disposal. It doesn't mean that I will use it, just that I have the power to choose that no one can take or make for me. I don't know if that is healthy or not but for me it works. I am sure for many many people they have their own ways of coping which all might be unique in their own way.