Do people understand

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Do people understand
4
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 2:47pm
Do people who you are close with understand what you are going through? Not mine. I hide my feelings from my husband. He can't deal with them. The last time I tried to share with him openly how I was feeling, he pulled over on the road and got out to walk home saying he couldn't deal with me. So ever since then I don't say a word to him and you learn to act pretty good! I don't let my parents know either because they wouldn't beable to deal with it either. Maybe that is why my mom was a bad alcoholic because she didn't know how to deal with her own problems and that is probably why all my brothers are bad alcoholics as well. Do any of you have the same problems?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 5:05pm

Hey there,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2006
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 5:26pm

I hide my feelings from my husband, not because he can't deal with them, but because I never know what his reaction will be. Early in the marriage I expressed my self, then it became apparently that he didn't care, what I felt. What I have to say is always stupid, dumb, I can't believe you said that or why don't you just shut up.

Then when he would ask for my opinion I always tried to guess what he wanted me to say. If it's not what he wants to hear, then he goes on and on and on about how stupid I am.

I grew up where "children should be seen and not heard", so I really didn't express my feelings with them. Just went along as if everything was hunky dory.

I think what happens, at least with me is, that I've always prettended everything is alright, even as a kid. Then when I could not hold my "feelings in" any longer, and exploded, (either crying or anger) they always thought I was exaggerating, and over blowing everything out of proportion, but they never saw the feelings building up. Does this make sense? I don't trust myself lately.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 9:08pm
Well thanks Lori on sharing your experiences with me. I can definately understand how one person can get burned out if he or she were the only support that you had.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Fri, 09-15-2006 - 9:14pm
growing up as a child was no picnic in my household as well. Each weekend my parents would get drunk then get into fist fights. More times then I care to count, I would get in between them trying to stop the fight only to get knocked down when they started swinging. Us kids were very quiet as well and tried to be super good to keep in the house. ((((hugs))))