Looking for parental thoughts

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2006
Looking for parental thoughts
8
Sun, 09-24-2006 - 11:42pm
Hello, are there any parents out there that have had children that committed suicide? I've almost several times now, and the thought of putting my parents through this is almost (almost) as hard as making it though each day. I'm sure that it would be sad for them, but cannot be nearly as difficult as dealing with the extreme saddness that I deal with everyday. I have two siblings that will be there for them. Does anyone know how a parent feels? (I obviously don't have any children of my own).
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 12:50pm

Hi pmh and welcome to the board! I'm glad you found us...


While I cannot speak as a parent, I do want to share my thoughts as someone who has been in that dark emotional place and made attempts as well as someone who has gotten degrees in the social work field.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 7:07pm
VERY well written Lori!,,, I just needed to tell you that. I also wanted to say,,,'as a parent',,,,it is my children who ground me each time I feel that all I all I want is the ultimate escape from my troubles. Just this year someone in my family killed herself because her mother died in an accident that shouldn't have happened. She left 2 daughters behind who now have lost both their grandmother and their mother. The pain they were/are feeling can't be expressed in type-written words. I had an aunt who killed herself years ago, and a friend who's son also killed himself. The questions, the guilt, the 'what if's' that people are left with are more than staggering. As dark and hopeless somedays I have felt (and still do),,,,I know deep down that the love for my children is far stronger than any despair I may battle with. PMH 2.0 I hope you will consider seeking help with what you are feeling,,,,,,it really does help to say things outloud to another person whom you trust. As Lori wrote there are many avenues to try, there are people out there who care and want to help. I hope you will consider giving one of them the chance to help you ,,,, take care please ,,,,,, Abby
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Mon, 09-25-2006 - 9:07pm
Thanks for your kind words, Abby! And also thanks for sharing your thoughts/experiences--it's been good to see you around the board more! (Although, as always I wish no one felt pain enough to need it!) Hugs, Lori
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Avatar for markshay
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 8:44am
I don't have children that have committed suicide but I do have two children ages 7 and 9 and I can say that without a doubt I would be soooo hurt and so devastated if either one of my girls did commit suicide AND I would feel very badly that they would even feel as tho that were an option. Having been thru all this depression and attempts and stuff, I know how it feels to feel like that and as a mother, if either of my girls were in that much pain I would feel horrible for them and try everything in my power to try to make it better. I don't know what your relationship is with your parents, I do know how my relationship was with my parents tho and altho it wasn't a good one, I'm sure that if I had succeeded in any of my attempts, they would have been really hurt. Not as hurt as I would be if it were one of my kids tho. On a different note tho, maybe you should start trying to find a way to live for yourself and not for someone else, KWIM? Staying alive only because it might be hard on someone else isn't going to make you feel any better. The good thing about that thinking is that it will help you live thru some of the darkest points in your life and at that point, it is wonderful to hang on to. Hopefully one day soon you will find what makes you feel better. Keep posting. Take care.
Sandra.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 1:09pm

Excellent point you made, Sandra! How are you doing these days? Glad you stopped by and shared your thoughts/experiences with us! Hugs, Lori

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Avatar for markshay
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 8:40am
Hi Lori, I am doing ok for the most part for now. I'm not real happy with where I work and really would like to find another job (working at the local grocery store as cashier and customer service) but feel like I'm not capable enough to do much else. I do have my psych degree but don't want to work in that field around here (since I know most of the people around here that are in the field and they know me (too much of my history out there)). I don't know what else I would even be able to do and it's scary for me but oh well. Part of my reasoning for wanting another job is because of my back, it hurts too much to stand for too long of periods of time. Other than that, right now am looking forward to going on vacation soon. Hoping that this time around will be really fun (last time we had a big vacation, I was too depressed and mad at dh to really enjoy it). All in all, I am pretty much sliding thru life. Thanks for asking.
Sandra.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 5:07pm

Hi Sandra,


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Avatar for markshay
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Thu, 09-28-2006 - 9:09pm
Thanks Lori. I've been trying to decide if I should do something with my degree but I got it sooo flipping long ago (11 years ago) that I don't remember much,oops and not sure what I can really do with it, at least in the areas that I am interested in, which would be kids. I've thought about applying for case management but really don't want to drive too far out of the area to do that with, especially with the price of gas these days. Plus I still have my kids that I have to be available for so that limits my time availability. Hopefully one of these years I will find something along the lines of a career, and I will find myself able to handle it. Anyways, thanks again.
Sandra.