having a tought time dealing
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having a tought time dealing
| Sun, 10-08-2006 - 1:46am |
im sure a lot of this will sound really dumb to some of you but ya kno i just cant help it. im 20 years old and just recently had to move in with my mom with my son. it hasnt been going to great here. i found a job but its only part time cuz the town i live in thats pretty much all you can get. so im trying to find another job cuz ill work 2 or 3 if i have to. but living here is so stressing. for one the day after i moved in my mom and her partner told me to my face they dont want me here but i had nowhere else to go. so that is always in my head. and everything is a lecture from them, from the job issue to child support and everything. lately all i can seem to think about is houw much i want to end it. i know i have my son to live for, but he deserves a better mommy, i can admit im not metally stable to care for him. im not even stabel enough to take care of myself. when im with my friend john i have no worries and life is great. any other time im either pissed or bawling. i cant stop. i dont know what to do. i dont have money to go to a doctor or counselor. i cant talk to my mom or my sister. i rarely talk to anyone besides a few close guy friends. its jut been really hard. today ive just been mad and sad hurt. john promised me last night he would meet me after i got off work, never showed, i stayin in town for over an hour before heading him and did he come, NO. so that just hurt me to the max. we are sort of seeing each other but not wuite dating. idk its weird to explain. but these thoughts of ending it are just eating away at me and i cant take it.

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Hi Desiree,
It's okay to get upset about the things you're getting upset about. Don't put yourself down for that. You're in a tough situation and I have to say you are doing a great job, even if it doesn't feel like it.
Keep holding on to your lifeline. That is very important to you, I can tell. I know how much a friend like that means.
Keep pushing through you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Hi Desiree,
Good to hear that you tried to get some things done today. Sometimes a sense of accomplishment can help. And don't expect others to give you the praise you obviously deserve. It just doesn't seem to happen as much once we become adults.
Don't give into those SU thoughts. Keep posting here all night if that's what it takes.
Is there public tranist or could you go for walks to get out of the house?
How goes the job?
((((Desiree))))
Sorry to hear that you are so far away from everything. I thought I was, but at least i have weekday busses. I just feel so disconnected on the weekends. I don't have internet at home and that makes me feel even more disconnected. I'm glad you have us to keep connected with.
Keep on hanging on.
Hi Desiree,
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