having a tought time dealing
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having a tought time dealing
| Sun, 10-08-2006 - 1:46am |
im sure a lot of this will sound really dumb to some of you but ya kno i just cant help it. im 20 years old and just recently had to move in with my mom with my son. it hasnt been going to great here. i found a job but its only part time cuz the town i live in thats pretty much all you can get. so im trying to find another job cuz ill work 2 or 3 if i have to. but living here is so stressing. for one the day after i moved in my mom and her partner told me to my face they dont want me here but i had nowhere else to go. so that is always in my head. and everything is a lecture from them, from the job issue to child support and everything. lately all i can seem to think about is houw much i want to end it. i know i have my son to live for, but he deserves a better mommy, i can admit im not metally stable to care for him. im not even stabel enough to take care of myself. when im with my friend john i have no worries and life is great. any other time im either pissed or bawling. i cant stop. i dont know what to do. i dont have money to go to a doctor or counselor. i cant talk to my mom or my sister. i rarely talk to anyone besides a few close guy friends. its jut been really hard. today ive just been mad and sad hurt. john promised me last night he would meet me after i got off work, never showed, i stayin in town for over an hour before heading him and did he come, NO. so that just hurt me to the max. we are sort of seeing each other but not wuite dating. idk its weird to explain. but these thoughts of ending it are just eating away at me and i cant take it.

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"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?" For what it's worth, I don't think anything is "wrong" with you, hon except for the fact that you seem to have had your past abuse stuff triggered by this guy who's "like a brother" to you and is pushing you for sex. "Like a brother" and "sex" don't mix and you are totally justified in reacting to that and setting a boundary with this guy and if he doesn't get it--or you fear he wouldn't, you are absolutely justified in staying away!
Hi Desiree,
Desiree,
As always it looks like you are doing everything in your power to make your situation better. Kudos for that. Keep at it. I know you can do it.
Hugs,
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