**TRIGGER** I hate being alive!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
**TRIGGER** I hate being alive!
26
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 9:09am
I hate being alive so much I just cringe when I wake up to yet another day! I don't feel like calling and talking to anyone and I don't even feel like wanting to get better you know what I mean? Anyone? I want to end it so badly but watch me screw that up as well! I feel sorry for my children and grandchildren having to be left in this hate war filled world with no future and no jobs. Life just plain sucks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 12:45pm
Thanks so much for listening to me rant and rave. I am going to leave you guys alone so I am not just posting the same over and over again about poor me this poor me that. Sending each of you positive thoughts and prayers. ((((hugs))))
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 8:51pm
It's okay in your state to tell a little fib. You can't necessarily tell them what's really wrong and that's okay.

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Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 8:52pm

((((hugs)))) back


No keep posting we want to hear how things are going.

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Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 9:18am

Hey Sadeyes,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 3:27pm
I went to church today I sit in the way back by myself because my husband is an usher and has duties. After service a guy comes up to me and says.."Smile, it can't be that bad!" ughhhhhhhhh just what I wanted to hear!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 3:30pm
I wonder what the congregation would think if they knew that their Usher's wife is seriously thinking of suicide. That would give this small town something to talk about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 7:59pm

I know at least from my experience that they wouldn't want to hear it. People like to turn a blind eye to these sort of things, in church or not. I ran a mental health group at my church and only a few people came. Most people just don't want to hear it. They can't understand and they don't know the right things to say.


(((Hugs)))

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Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Sun, 10-15-2006 - 9:16pm
You are probably right Amanda but it would give my husband the attention he constantly seeks from people
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 11:17am

Hi there,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 12:28pm
Lori I don't know what type of abuse you had to endure but it certainly must have had a devastating impact on you and my heart goes out to you. (((hugs))) BUT for a pastor to say what he did to one of his own sheep who was reaching out just astounds me! Now I am afraid to do the same. I was actually thinking about doing the very same that you have but our pastor is new and I don't know him well at all and I don't think I could take such a response, that would do me in for sure!