Today is the hardest of all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Today is the hardest of all.
4
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 6:55pm

Today at 7:00 20 years ago my grandmother passed away in my arms. I don't know why it is hitting me so hard today aftre all these years. It feels like half my life is gone and she wasn't here to share it with me. she never saw my married she never saw my children she has never seen them play their instriments or anything else they have done.

It's a rainy dreary day and i know that has a lot to do with it but i just can't stop crying all day thinking of her. My kids know what today is and one of them hugged me and told me she knew how i felt because she lost her granfather (my FIL) several years ago. Knowing how mad my 16 year old is at me right now and that hug from her was just a littel string of life for me to hold onto. I don't know if she knows that but she is the one who has thrown me the string to the rest of the raft i need to grab onto to pull myself back in.

I've taken an ambien and a xanax and i'm going to bed now. I don't want to be awake in the next few minutes. just please say a prayer for my grandma Libby I know i'll see her again soon.

libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 9:26pm

Please be careful with the meds, Robin... I know you are hurting badly but you have a lot of fight left in you and those kids need you even if you don't believe that right now!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Wed, 10-18-2006 - 11:13pm

Today when my dd got home i pulled her aside and told her how much i appreciated how much she cared last night I tol dher the hug meant a lot to me. She has been a pretty good kid today but my 15 year old is still her snotty self.

My 19 year old got a big disapointment from a boy she likes. she won't sleep with him so he dumped her. this is the second boy in a month that she met that wanted to sleep with her and she told them to basicly fly a kite. i'm glad she is making good choices i just hope she cools it with the guys right now and learns that most of them are just out for what they can get at that age.

I'm doing ok today we'll see how tomorrow is.

Libby

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2004
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 9:41am

Hey there,


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 2:07am

as i posted in a pervius post today is horrible. i just got into my friends house and i'm going to treat myself to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. my favorite but can't have them at home because kids are allergic to peanuts.

libby