sorry wasnt in a good place to even post what I did post, all I thik about is hurting myself, and I cant seem to shake it, it is getting to the point where I have started to think about making plans but just put it off for tomorrow but I am worried that there may not be a tomorrow and I am not one to go to the ER and ask for help, and that is just the icing on the cake, found out a while ago that my T may end up losing her job bc of some new insurance plan and she isnt covered under it at all and I refuse to go see anyone else it is all the trust issue with me, and then I am sending my children back to public school next year bc I just cant seem to do it anymore with my depression and just being too darn lazy I cant do it any longer and my 14 yr old is throwing a fit about it all and then my SIL's treat my boys like crap and my DD like she is a princess and can do no worng even when she calls me names and they give her stuff like toys clothes and yet my 3 boys dont get anything from them but a good yelling and I am not going to say anything to them bc I will blow up at them and probably go after them and end up in jail. Then I am having flash backs like they are going in style cant do it anymore I am torn between life and death I dont want to miss my kids in their steps into adulthood but yet I cant continue to be this way, it seems like everyone close to me always leaves me rather it be from natural causes or bc they are sick of me. I cant do this anymore and I know I should talk to my T but what is the point ya know especially if she isnt going to be here. I am tired of fighting to live I beg God to take my life and make everyone happy and celebrate my death.
Hi Mary,
sorry wasnt in a good place to even post what I did post, all I thik about is hurting myself, and I cant seem to shake it, it is getting to the point where I have started to think about making plans but just put it off for tomorrow but I am worried that there may not be a tomorrow and I am not one to go to the ER and ask for help, and that is just the icing on the cake, found out a while ago that my T may end up losing her job bc of some new insurance plan and she isnt covered under it at all and I refuse to go see anyone else it is all the trust issue with me, and then I am sending my children back to public school next year bc I just cant seem to do it anymore with my depression and just being too darn lazy I cant do it any longer and my 14 yr old is throwing a fit about it all and then my SIL's treat my boys like crap and my DD like she is a princess and can do no worng even when she calls me names and they give her stuff like toys clothes and yet my 3 boys dont get anything from them but a good yelling and I am not going to say anything to them bc I will blow up at them and probably go after them and end up in jail.
Then I am having flash backs like they are going in style cant do it anymore I am torn between life and death I dont want to miss my kids in their steps into adulthood but yet I cant continue to be this way, it seems like everyone close to me always leaves me rather it be from natural causes or bc they are sick of me. I cant do this anymore and I know I should talk to my T but what is the point ya know especially if she isnt going to be here. I am tired of fighting to live I beg God to take my life and make everyone happy and celebrate my death.
Mary
Hey Mary,